New Year.

I grew up. I became mature now. Thus, I start my everyday life with a new resolution. I don't wait till new year to make new resolutions. Everyday is the same. Nothing new. Wait, what, fireworks? Yeah, every new year will have fireworks. Nothing special, I guessed?

Oh in Malaysia, 2012 will be a bit different. Because the money notes will be changed. Of course not just that, the government probably will do lots of changed as well. And I don't really care about politics.

So last year, wait.....I mean, in 2011, there's one resolution that I made. And I think, that one is achieved succesfully. Well, the resolution was lame anyway. I hoped that I will be single and I will not work during semester break in 2011. And I done that. I am still single by now. Brava to me! ;D

2012, please be as awesome as 2011. I hope it will even be awesome-er. Me and my friends and my sis will go to Foster The People concert this January yaay! And I signed up my name in Asean Pacific Dental Students Association (APDSA 2012), which will be held at Cairns, Australia. Awesome much? Haha. I'll be using my scholarship money wholly for this Aussie thaang. So people, don't ask me out ;(

Oh wait, 2012 I'll be in second semester in second year as a dental student. That means, there are two big exams to face. I have to study harddd. Then, i'll be entering third year. Which means, when i'm in third year, no fifth year seniors anymore. They will be graduating. Congratulations in advance and wehh my inspiration will leave me :(

HELLO2012!

XOXO

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No Subject #4

I hate PMS.

It affects my quality life.

I'm unable to focus.

It gave me lethargy.

I'm always moody.

My mind can't think straight.

Stupid and arrogant I became.

The effects burdened me later.

Oh, life.

XOXO

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Shit.

Raping cases in uni scares the hell outta me.

Fuck you, rapists.

XOXO

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DM lab experience.

1) Comot

After using Zinc Oxide and Eugenol paste over a week (yes, I redo many times) to do the secondary impression, my labcoat stained with the reddish-brown paste a lot. On the sleeves, my outer pocket, the whole labcoat lah basically.

Dr. Zethy: Amanani, you're so comot. (While evaluating my secondary impression).

Me: Oh, yeah. Takpelah, doctor. As long as the impression is done, I don't care if you wanna give me B or C.

Dr. Zethy: (Looking at my labcoat) Bukan ni (impression) jek. Haih, you ni.

Me: Oh, haha. I swear I won't be comot next week.

I decided to wash it, then my friend said, "Ala nani. Wait till we finished prostho then barulah cuci". Then I blindly took her advice.

Next week.

Dr. Zethy entered the lab. I was hoping that Dr. Zethy won't remember about my labcoat condition, until she said this, "Amanani, same jek you ni?". Then, I was speechless and embarassed. So, I sent the coat to the laundry shop, and now it hasn't finish washing it. She (the laundree) said, it was too dirty, the stain didn't wanna go away, and she wants to try wash it for the second time. -.-"

2) Attitude

While we were all setting up the teeth. Obviously, we were all sighing and mad with the lecturer because kept rejecting our work. We done it badly, I guessed, so we deserved that. But what we mad about was, the technician said we done alright, but the lecturer rejected it. So we got confused.

Me: Dr, how's my posterior upper teeth?

Dr. Lina: Your fossa should be buccally a bit from the ridge. Then your premolars and molars should be in a straight line. Yours are a bit curve. Bla..bla...bla..

Me: Oh okay. Dr, I want to ask a random question. You said, in real dentist life, the technician will setting up the teeth for the patient right, so it means that the technicians are more 'pro' in this process right, so why don't let the technician evaluate for us? (I let it out of my confusion, because I am sooo curious why the lecturer and technician said differently).

Then, I think the lecturer is a bit sentap with my question, it gave her 5-6 seconds to think, which I thought she's angry or something. Then she explains to me why. About the occlusion, then dentists are the one who treat the patient and all, thus we need to know every single details. Well, I am very clear now. Then, there's actually a lot if arguments I made with her. Until her mood changed from good to bad. At the end, I gave up, because I admit I lacked of knowledge, thus I need to study.

Then, Dr. Lina said, "I like your attitude. You're brave to ask, yet you're not rude".

*smiling* and said, "Oh, hehe, saya mmg admit lah saya tak study. Thats why I seemed to don't know anything and kept guessing".

No, I actually didn't say that. Because I forgot what I said actually hmm. Oh well :)

So, I am comot and brave now eh?

XOXO

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Junior.

He's super cute. Cuteness. Effin cute. He speaks Mandarin, thus some bonus point there. What a combo.

*Random statement*

Ni ling wo tao yen

PS: The meaning didn't related with anyone.

XOXO

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No Subject #3

I hate stress

Because it won't make us smile.

I hate stress

Because it grew us miles.

I hate stress

Because it ruin everything.

But stress,

Taught us how to cope with life.

XOXO

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No Subject #2

It turned out to be you're so typical.

No wonder I don't prefer you,

At the first place.

Be flexible.

You're not perfect anyway.

PS: I'll turned into a mad-duck whenever I'm depressed.

XOXO

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Weekend.

So, how are you guys doing? Sorry for not updating myself. Been busy, like usual. My studies was alright. My dental material lab work, err, more to project was stressful. But my seniors said it's just the beginning. Thus, I shall stop complaining. Trying to be more professional rather than being a bimbotic bratty girl. Sigh.

Oh I played futsal. Representing my faculty for SAF (sports interfaculty). We only succeed until quarter final. I guessed, we were't that bad eh? :p We got four matches overall. The first and the last game, we lost. And I shall say, it's mainly because of me? I caused the opponent to have a free PENALTY kick. I felt horrible back then. But they said it's okay, while I knew it's obviously not okay. Sigh again. But nevermind, we can play again for intervarsity sports this upcoming March. We surely will kick their asses hard! LOL.

We (me and birthday girl) spent time together at the very nearest place and we had so much fun. We ate good food and buy a kettle. Random, yet I need those. Haha. We went to a park with a lake nearby and saw a lots of family picniking (is that even a word?). And my senior shared a poster about one very small event held there. It was called, 'Puisi Satu Petang' (Poems in Evening). We arrived late, but managed to listen to some young adults recited their poems. And there was one big guy bring an ukulele, played and sing a Zee Avi song. To me, the event was nice, relaxing, and socializing with new and cool people. I am so looking forward with the next Puisi Satu Petang. And there was a plain white cloth with loads of reading sources on top of it. At first, I thought it was for sale, yet it amazed me because it's actually for borrowing. Like in a library. Interesting, weren't they? So we chose to borrow Fanzines, like in a Malaysian drama series called, 'KAMI'. Its my first time reading fanzines. It's funny yet so indiependently artistic :)

XOXO

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Puke oot.

Where's the cooperation, bitches? Why didn't you guys bother about this? I don't know why the heck you guys didn't care about this small thing. I hate when I thought it's only me who very 'innocent' and nerd to think about this, while you guys like, "Ehhhh....".

F.U
XOXO

Tawandang.

Okay, I felt like posting this once I read my sister's latest blog post. Tawandang is a now a part of our family. What's Tawandang? It's a brand. For more info, just read my sis's post :)

Keyi-Maisara-Tasha

Nani-Mama

Teha-Mana

Where's the picture of my dad? LOL, I don't know either. He's eating Tawandang too, but I guessed I'm still afraid of him (?) I am afraid if he'll be like, "Eh orang makan Tawandang pun nak amek gambar ke?". I thought it's scary.

XOXO

New addiction.

"Entah mengapa engkau yang aku cinta,

Mungkin lebih baik kau ku lepas saja."

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FINALLLLYYY!

Okay, I told you about how I hate (kinda) my hostel now, which where I'm staying. Despite the fact that I am away from my coursemates, which difficult for us to do any discussion or anything, and also the wifi here is super slow most of the time, but the huge problem is the toilet. Yes the place where we clean ourselves and shower and poop and pee. The toilets are freaking dirty! I hate the toilets. I mean, I literally ask myself everyday, "How can I live here everyday? How am I going to live here? Why the toilets are so dirty? Where are the makciks that supposed and paid to clean the toilets?".

You see, the wall of the shower rooms were cracked, and of course it will provide the suitable environment for all the bacterias and fungis to grow there, so it will be going to be dirty fast. As fast as the woodpecker peck the bark of the tree. It went all black along the cracked lines, it was seriously yucks. And there's one shower room, the rain-head (?), I mean the structure that made the water flow like the rain had gone. So the shower still works but the water flow so hard, there's no rainy feelings when you bath. And that room is a wee bit cleaner than the others. At first, I don't prefer that one, because my head hurts once the water hit my head. But now, I don't give a shit about my head being hit by the water. All I care is to shower in a clean room, with white walls. Imagine my sacrifice, people! Harhar.

Next, there're cat poos beside the cubicle where you poop and pee. Well, you know how the cat poo smells like. It is sooo unpleasant! And it's been there for, what 3 days? 'Lousy cleaner! Lazy cleaner!', that's what my mind thought of. Last night, as I'm about to fill the kettle with some water, I saw cat poos now inside the sink. Fuck yes, inside the sink! The exactly place where we wash our face, brush our teeth, wash our hands in order to get them clean. And now, the sink is filled with poops? WTH?!! Oh, I forgot to mention the 'situation' inside the sink. It's more or less the same thing happened with the walls of the shower room. All blacks and brownish, superr ewwwy!

How can I live there, right? Right?!!?!

You know what, I literally control my urine to get out from my urethra. I chose to do so, rather than I pee inside the dirty cubicle, even worse, when there're cat poos beside me. Pfft. Double, triple, million, zillion combos of bacterias. Gosh!

Eventually, I decided to complain. I wanna go to the office, yet I am lazy. Then, I remembered I got a friend who're one of the bureau in the hostel organisation. And I texted her, at 6:20 AM. I didn't mean to disturb her beauty sleep, but I just have to, I really hope there'll be action taken, SOON! Then, just now, someone make an annoucement, "Attention to all the students, please bring in the clothes you hung outside, because there will be a toilet-cleaning process going on at level 4 and 5 by some guys. And also, please dress up properly whenever you go out from the room. Thank you". Okay, basically I don't know what's the relationship between the clothes and the cleaning process but who cares, HELL YEAHHH, THE TOILETS ARE FINALLY GONNA BE CLEAAN :D Isn't wonderful? :)) LOL.

That's it. I am satisfied. I hope this won't happen again. Or else, I'll ask for a trasferation to other block.

XOXO

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Pen pal.

You see, I have a pen pal. It's kunda new friend. I randomly added her as a friend. I mean, I found her at Zooey Deschanel page. I was commenting at one of her status, then I decided to do random thing, which is add someone as a friend. I chose a girl. Actually, I want to know how Americans' life.

Then one day, she inboxed me, she said, "You added me a while ago, but you didn't even say Hi to me". Yeah, some sort like that. I forgot her exactly words. Then I replied, "Oh, Hi! I found you...yak...yak...yak....Can we, randomly be friends?". Then she said, "Of course! :) I never knew people from your country". Haha, from that moment, we became friends! How cool was that?

Her name is Colleen Rodman. She's 21 years old. She's from California and still studying in Creative Writing. So practically, she'll become an English teacher one day. Duh, her English  was so damn good. I am soo afraid if I might have stupid grammar mistakes in my messages. It would be embarassing.

She called me Siti at first, LOL, but I said, "No, no. Call me Nani". Then she apologised. She's nice.

After all this time, we've been sending messages through Facebook. We talked about how the students in America, was it the same like in movies. We talked about Halloween. We talked about ourselves. But there are still tonnes more I wanna ask her about.

We never chat together. Maybe this is due to different clock here and US.

I didn't reply her message yet, because of busy-ness with futsal and studies. Then, this morning, I decided to online Facebook and reply her message about Thanksgiving Day.

Okay, wait. I have to admit, since I have this new phone, I only online using this. I haven't open my laptop for ages. So, I hardly realize whoever starts to chat with me at Facebook.

Okay, let's proceed. As I am surfing the internet, I want to see my chatlist, I mean I wanna know who was online during that time. Then I saw there's a trying-to-start-a-conversation-chat from her. And it was yesterday's message. And what a coincidence, she was onlining too at that time! Then I replied her chat, then she replied back, and it's repeated. We eventually chatting! Haha. I have to admit, I was nervous back then. Because when we sent messages, I can think of grammars, and words and stuffs like that. But not this time. It was live chat. I online, she online. I can't use 'lah', 'kan', and lots more word that I usually use whenever I texted my friends. I can't mix Malay word like I usually did. So basically, I am nervous. But, guess what? It wasn't that bad after all. I did took some time to think of what the right words and all, but it was okay though. Hehe.

I am so happy. Because this is new to me! :) And oh, we start missing each other. Nice eh? XP I told my siblings about this, and they thought it was great, and they decided to do the same thing too. They liked Zooey Deschanel page in Facebook too, but they didn't have the guts to add random people. LOL.

Okay, great experience. You should try too :)

XOXO

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No Subject.

I am sensing an imaginary huge, large wall exists between you and me since........

Can I?

Can I, cut off her mouth? So that she will learn how to answer nicely whenever we have questions to ask, or we are forced to ask questions?

Can I take a red-burnt-hot-scalpel and cut her larynx off? So that she will stop yelling at us, if we done some new mistakes?

Can I scoop her eyeballs out? So that she will stop staring and gazing her eyes out at us, like a severe hyperthyroidism patient, whenever she's explaining? Come on, it's annoyingly scary.

Can I cut her arm's skin, take a vacuum cleaner and use it to suck her fats out? So that she got nothing to wobble whenever she's pointing at us when we failed to achieve what exactly that she wants?

Can I do something evil? So that she will stop being mean?

XOXO

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I reblogged.

XOXO

Random afternoon thoughts.

If I am given a chance to do a piercing on my face, it will be at my nose. Like Indian ladies usually do. Because to me, those piercing on the nose, looks exotically beautiful.

How about you?

XOXO

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I know you won't read this.

"I'll love you more with every breath, truly, madly, deeply do."

XOXO

Annual Dinner 2011.

So, this is the event that I told you about. Our batch handled this event. It was held on 21st October. Basically, it was weeks ago. I'm updating the story a wee bit late. We learnt a lot during organising this dinner. We misunderstood. We saw each other's true colours. Bestfriends fought and quarelled. We talked behind each other. We sacrificed studying and precious time. And a lot more.

I'm one of the comittee. The lowest position ever. But, my life was hectic like other higher comittee too. I worked under Performance Comittee. So, we choreographed, we trained, we practiced and they (the juniors) performed. Ooh, the theme was Movie Night. Everyone was wearing movie costumes. Enough said, here's the pictures.

Haha, he's fun. He's my junior.

Picture with juniors.

Me and Bawang Merah dan Bawang Putih character.

Gosh, whatthaheck am I doing?

Oh, these two adults are my deputy dean. Gulp.

She's Black Swan. She made her costume herself. Cool, I know!

Ooops, unready.

Errrr, awkkward smile of mine.

Hell yeah, Expeliamoss!

It's Nanny McPhee!

We stayed one night at the hotel. We were checking out.

Hello, hello! I was wearing Joker that night. I don't know it came from which movie. But this costume really attracted my attention. I actually planned to wear Morticia Addams from The Addams Family. But, since I'm wearing hijab, it'll looked a bit weird, because Morticia's trademark was the long, black hair. I won't wear a wig. Period.

Our head of the comittee, Azlan.

Me and Razil. Razil was announcing the winners for the awards that night. While me, I was making a fool outta myself in front of the guests. 

Yeah, both are my lecturers.

My classmates :)

This is my lecturer.

Cleopatra. She's also my roomate, Cha.

Okay, the pictures are a bit unorganised. I am sorry, I was lazy to organise it.

Thank you!

PS: Random! Describe me in one word, please.

XOXO

Stop and come on.

Stop making fool outta yourself.

Stop hoping things that are impossible.

Come on, please understand.

Stop doing things that I don't think, F prefer. 

Stop exaggerating.

Come on, but that's just you.

Oh, come on! Why, there will always thing that making me stress and let the anger filled me? Am I thinking too much?

XOXO

Ridiculous.

I ridiculously, felt like crying, when you're down. Why? I don't know. Worriness, I reckoned. 

XOXO

So true!

One of my classmate, posted this, "Kalau kau benci seorang, nanti berganda-ganda yang akan benci kau". I think it's fucking true. I'm experiencing one 'case'.

Z hated many people. Then suddenly, Z actually have tonnes of secret and it was revealed slowly. One by one. Surprises, after surprises. And me, myself almost annoyed with Z, because of Z's attitude. Meaning that, I am now, included in the 'berganda-ganda yang akan benci kau' category. Did you realize, of how 'scary' a statement can be?

So honey, my advice, stop pretending to be someone that you're not. Stop having something that you're not afford to own. Stop being someone else, because I want to know the real you. No matter how awful and horrible you are, just be yourself, and I'll figure a way to accept it. 

XOXO

What?

"I wanna runaway."

OH, hey, good food reaally induced happy hormone eh? No matter how moody you are, once you got great foods, your happy hormone just zoomed up. And hey, staying in campus, I ate just for the sake of balanced diet, and energy, protein, yak...yak....yak... None delicious foods. You want delicious food, you have to wait for 68 hours to get the food. Like, what the heck. And this is why, I hate to have dinner. I rather eat 6 buns (I packet) for dinner, than waiting for not-so-delicious-food forever. Not worth it, though.
XOXO

This is insane.

What insane? I'm busy. Even bees aren't as busy as me. As well as my friends. They're busy too. Our batch handle an event. Okay, fullstop. Freaking laazy to describe what kinda event it'll be. You know, my life without an event to handle is busy itself, with the laundry, the 'roomkeeping', the studies, the rests, the sleeps, the read here and that, the revisions, the homesicks and only God knows what else.
So, this October, I would like to present you, 'A Busy Life Of A Girl, Named Naniiii!'. So, imagine this, I don't even have time to lay down and take five, I don't have time to make a cup of coffee, I am away from God (I told you, this is insane!), but I do my daily prayers eh. Oh, Allah, come and gimme hidayahh! I wanttt!
I am so busy, I didn't take  good care of my health. So, basically, I have flu, cough, dizzy and what else, umm, oh slightly feverish. And today, as I busy stuffed some tissue inside my nostrils in order to absorb my mucus, duhh? Then suddenly I saw red absorption on the tissue. And I thought I was too harsh, my nostrils tore apart, yet, the blood came out from the nasal cavity. I don't know the mechanism of how this can happened, but this was my first time to have nose-bleeding. It's ridiculously fun. Instead of transparent fluid that usually come out from my nose, but this time it's blood! WHEEWWPP!
And hey, I just realize that I am a stubborn girl when it comes to clinic, pills, medication, skip class to visit doctor. Hmm, I wasn't stubborn. I just thought those 'procedures' are just too tedious for me. Aboot the medication, I forgot to take 'em :D
Peeps, wish me luck, for handling these thaang.

XOXO

Nani.

Fun facts about me.

1. She walks fast, especially when going to the class.
2. She chews so long, to just finish a mouthful of rice.
3. She can wear her hijab, without depending on the mirror.
4. She loves to ask random questions.
5. She easily gets excited in almost everything.

Number 10.

Still remember about this drawing? This one, I was inspired by the last day I went to bazar Ramadan. Hmph, nothing much to elaborate though. I've been busy, I left my pencil and sketchbook a long time ago. I mean, there's no free time to draw. Oh, I drew a dinasour and a girl on my question test paper this morning. I was so blur, I can't think of anything, thus I draw :D

XOXO

Shits and stress.

"Being a slow learner is the most burdened thing for her. Being insulted and hurted once, was enough for her to make a change in her life. Shits after shits, attacked her slowly. She doesn't want be a such troublesome to her love ones. Thus, she shall endure these with a lot of smile and laughs. Also, a lot of sacrifisaction. She has to prepare mentally that among these shits, one may fall into a black hole. And she may cries her heart out and, onlyGodknows, random stuffs she might do in future. Sighs accompanied her recently, almost all the time."

Well, stress are normal right? For students. And Allah, won't give such stress and burden that we can't cope right? There will always hikmah behind these 'awesome'-typpa-stress. Failure, can happen. I mean, you didn't expect you'll succeed in everything you do, right? What are you, God or something? No one's perfect, bear that in mind. Some say, sighing wasn't good. Wonder why? Because it was as if, you didn't or can't accept the qada' and qadar, or easily said, you didn't accept your fate that Allah had chose for you. Which is, not good. Well, I myself, sighed a lot. I mean, I can't help it. It was like, reflex action. I have to change. Oh, honey, I said that a lot, but change is hard.
XOXO

Pfft.

Lack of exposure,

lack of experience,

lack of knowledge,

and

paranoid.

What a COMBO.

XOXO

Random dream.

So I slept after Azan Asar, without performing Asar prayer, I decided to take a nap first, bad habit ey?

Then I dreamt about you. I forgot the main story-line, but I remembered, when you and me try to find a place, where it supposed to be located just by the next building, to find a place for a friend who got lost. Then, we couldn't find it, we got lost either, but we're having fun together. The first time you reached me, you went all excited and hugged me so tightly I can't breathe, but I felt the warm love flowed by your scent and your heat. And you said, "This is what I've been waiting for!", smiling and continue hugging. After we're done with the building-searching, you came to my place, and we talked, laughed and talked again. It felt so good though. So good, as if, there're nothing that burdened our mind, there's always butterflies flown around us, sunshiny all over, felt so joyous by just looking at each other's smile.....

Then I woke up, my phone rang. Pffft. And I remembered, I haven't perform Asar! And I thought, "Shit, these Satans really trying so hard to make me stay asleep and skipped my Asar. Astaghfirullah. Alhamdulillah, for bringing me back to live from this instant dead". You know, although I reaaaaallly want my dreams to become true, but I know, those dreams are just, too fancy to become reality.

PS: Huda slept over my house last weekend, see her 'review' about my family. :)

XOXO

Annoying Complaint.

Warning: This is a post about a typical student life who kept complaining about her incomplete and unsatisfied life.

The main factor that induced me to write about this, is because of my new college (hostel). First, the toilets are creepy, which makes me kinda afraid to stay up late. Second, only me and four of my friends are the only dental students in this particular block, so it's quite tedious IF we have a group discussion. Like, we have to 'work hard' and berkorban in order to accomplish those work. *YAWN* Third, the internet in my room is fecking slow! I'm pissed every night. Which, actually good, because I can spend more time studying instead of wandering around for Facebook and Blogger. But, what if I have some project to do? Isn't a-slow-internet put on more stress for me? Forth, this block is supposed to be renovated, and shouldn't be used, until it done. But, due to loads of student need a  place to stay, so they, I don't know, put on a hold (I guessed?) and let the student stay here. The good thing is, the furnitures are all new. It all came with the plastic wrap around them, and we unwrapped the plastic and voila, it's totally ours! But, they (woman from the office) promised us, by last Tuesday, the room will be completed with all the things. And yet, tomorrow is going to be the next Tuesday, and we haven't received the shoe rack and the study table. Like, whaathaa? How am I going to study? How am I going to do my daily-night routine, sitting cross-legged on the chair, colourful notes on their way to be done, soul musics kept hitting my eardrums, a cup of coffee besides my pencil case, the room filled with the aroma of the coffee.......

You don't know, how these things affect my life. I can't study like I used to (for the time being), i'm stressed out by my friends who're fully prepared to listen to next lecture, i'm so jealous and next Monday is my Progress Test and I kept complaining, "When will my study table arrived?". Sounds nothing to you, ey? I don't care, it's me, not you.

Pffft, I actually can make these things work, as in, I actually can study and move on and stop complaining. Instead go to the library, study there, or, just lie down on the room floor and study, or lie on the cozy bed, put the blankets on and make yourself warm, and study, yeah, I 'can' do that. -..-" Everyone can right?
But, due to I am hormonally-unstable and bleeding now (got what I meant, ladies?), so complaining is just the right thing to do now.
XOXO

You.

I drew you,

But, I don't have the guts to give you,

Because it's not as perfect as you.

XOXO

New Semester.

For the first week, I think i'm doing great. I'm staying in the new block, as in different room now. It's an old building. To me, it's kinda scary and the toilets are lousy. Well, apparently, I got different roomate. She's quite okay.
Oh, heck yeah, I'M IN YEAR 2! I am so proud of myself. First year thought me a lot, and change me a lot. There're pros and cons though. The obvious cons are, i'm becoming more insecure and less confident. The pros, well, I know how to study using the right way:)
Anyway, I slept the whole one-hour lecture of 'Histology Of Oral Cavity and Stomach'. I was having stomachache, and my new lecture hall is bloody hot and humid. The air-conditioner is working, but I think the last time they serviced 'em was like, 20 years ago? So, at 2-5 pm everyday, we became all lazy, messy and sleepy. Duh, I hardly focus in class during that time. Sucks ey?

Fun fact for 1st week: Me and Ummi, will perform Joget Pahang for Raya celebration in faculty tomorrow! Haha! The worst part is, we're informed by the matron to do a performance, just yesterday. And, we worked our ass off today and InsyaAllah tonight, to make sure our performance would be great and not as lame as some stranger thought it might be. Gaaaaah! Wish me luck:)

PS: I love making myself busy, so that I can ignore the most fucked-up things happened to me.
XOXO

WTFeck.

"I think, you just replaced me without you realizing it. Thank you."

PS: Actually, I wanna make this as my Facebook status, but I just think it's too cheesy. Thus, I post it here, so that's why it's short.
XOXO

Anger.

Throw a fake smile to them, and drove away. Turn on the radio, Moves Like Jagger hit my eardrum. I increased the volume until my ears can't hear the sound of roaring engine whenever I dropped the gear or stepped on the throttle. It felt damn good. When the roads are clear, I'll step on it honey, hell yeah! Speeds until you felt satisfied. Then, hit on the brake the deepest the brake pad can go. Urgent brake, the traffic lights changed from yellow to red. Panicking if the car exceeds the line. Then, continue to roar. Cursed those bastards that blocked my way.

XOXO

Colours are awesome.

This is the picture of my girlfie during Raya tour. All of us are gorgeous. I'm sorry, we're awesome this way :DD

I'm sorryy for being too colourful, to you, maybe.
XOXO

Greedy wishes.

I wish I can take out my brain and wash it with high concentration of negativethoughtsicide. So that I can think of all freaking positive and good thoughts. None of negative thoughts can even linger and wander inside my sanitized brain. Because once they (negative thoughts) reached/arrived my brain, the chemicals will kill or phagocytes in it's own way to destroy the thoughts.

I wish I can be perfect. But unfortunately, there're none of perfect people in this world. But, imagine if there were people who're literally perfect. I bet, they will be chosen in anything. Without realizing it, we will point to them, since they can do anything, or we, certainly will be jealous of them, because it'll always be them.

It's actually fair, that we, human in the world, are not perfect ourself. I'm grateful to be me. I love being me. But I hate the fact that i'm negative, blur and slow in anything. For those, who literally follows my blog, will realize I like to write about this bored stuff. (oh God, see that? Being negative all of a sudden.) "I have to change" repeating to myself. "I have to stop trying to be other people" moaning over and over again. "I have to stop being jealousy over something that I shouldn't be jealous of" often reminding.

Well darlings, wish all you can. Pray all you can.

I said once, "Life ain't complicated. It's just human who are greedy and stupid". Sometimes I thought the statement can be applied, and sometimes I thought, it just can't. Why? Human aren't greedy. Human wants to try everything, and experienced it all. Can it be categorized as greedy? Well, I heard this many times, "Human can never satisfies in anything they had". I confused, whether human are built to be greedy, or human aren't greedy, but God gave us this kinda 'way' to try anything as long as we are still alive?

There's one time, I wanna go to both (A and B) event held on the same day. I was busy planning and managing my time, arranging, and grouching here and there because I was all puzzled, and lastly I asked Memmo's and H's opinion. Then they both said the same thing, "You have no choice, but have to choose only one". But I wanna go to A, because I wanna meet some of two-years-long-lost friends and I also wanna go to B, because if I didn't go, my Eid this year with family will be less meaningful to me. So, how about this situation? Am I greedy?

XOXO

This is just me.

I am so realistic and logical and some say, lurus bendul. Or, my imagination skills are so low, or I can't accept ridiculous stuffs, ugh I don't know, what's the exact word for this?

* * * * *

Okay, a few days ago, I played 'sep-sep' (those high-10 repeated times) with my lil sister. The song goes like this,

"Malam yang sepi-pi-pi,
Pak Mat jual topi-pi-pi,
Topi yang koyak-yak-yak,
Pak Mat jual tempoyak-yak-yak,
Tempoyak yang basi-si-si,
Pak Mat jual nasi-si-si-si,
Nasi yang enak-nak-nak,
Pak Mat jual anak-nak-nak,
Anak yang hilang-lang-lang,
Pak Mat jual gelang-lang-lang,
Gelang yang patah-tah-tah,
Pak Mat jual getah-tah-tah,
Getah yang putus-tus-tus,
Pak Mat jual tikus-kus-kus,
Tikus yang lari-ri-ri,
Pak Mat jual lori-ri-ri,
Lori yang bla-la-la,
Pak Mat jual bla-la-la
........
(forgotten...forgotten...and forgotten)"

Last time I played this when I was in primary school I guessed. I realized now, how absurd the song is. I think Pak Mat is soo rich and have so many ideas on what to sell. You know, selling topi, tempoyak, gelang, getah and lori are good. But, selling anak and tikus? What the heck? Is Pak Mat really own a factory who 'produce' child per day? What's inside the factory, then? Tonnes of female and male intercourse-ing? Or, there're only females whom pregnant every year? Or, there're only test tubes? Like you know, how the DNA and lab works together, then BOOM!, a kid is produced. Or, the scientist literally put sugars, spices and everything nice?

Pak Mat is selling tikus. Do you watch Ratatoiulle? How gross a rat can be? Does Pak Mat put each tikus in each cage? Pak Mat really is rich, then. Or, Pak Mat selling dead tikus? Ooh myy, the smells.

* * * * *

"When you talk, does it seems like he's not, even listening to the word you said?

That's okay, babe. Just tell me your problems,

I'll try my best to kiss them all away."

All I Have To Give, by Backstreet Boys

This is soo exaggerating. There are no such things as kiss your problems, then suddenly your problems are all solved. If there are people who're dumb or stupid, this line will gave them fake hopes.

Imagine this, she/he asks someone to kiss his/her problems and hoping the problems will go away. It'll ended up, disappointment all over him/her because the problems aren't going anywhere. Pity them. You know, even dumb people have feelings. 

* * * * *

Random thoughts of mine,

XOXO

Priceless Birthday Present.

These are the most priceless birthday present I had ever received. Oh, it's soo long, you'll be bored reading it. Because it's all about me. If you're in love with me, or you like me, or you wanna stalk me because you think i'm interesting and all, these link, are veery suitable source for you. Two of them knows me well. But Huda XD, she knew me for almost a year, but I appreciate this a lot a lot.

"Thank you, sweetie pies :') "

This one is from my guy BFF; Adam 

This one is from my girl BFF; Huda Che Senu 

This one is from my optimistic girlfriend; Huda XD

 I think there's another girlfriend who wanna do this for me, but she took some time because she up to something more important, which is preparing for her mid-sem examination.

All in all, thank you for those who're reading.
XOXO

Threesome.

I'm celebrating Eid'ulfitri, Independence Day and birthday for me this 31st August. Oh hey, I wish I wasn't too late to wish you a Selamat Hari Lebaran to you peeps. As usual, I am not celebrating birthday. But I have a very expensive gifts from my best friend. It's a long blog post specifically for me eh. I am glad to have friends like them. If you wanna read them, leave me a comment, I'll give you the link. I don't think you bother to read a long post about me, duh.
I'm celebrating Merdeka (Independence Day) by watching 1957: Hati Malaya on Astro Citra. The story was about how Malaysia was free from the colonization of British. It was a great story, you (people who haven't watch) should watch this movie, and know how meaningful Merdeka is.
Raya. Pfft, getting bored and bored, year by year. We usually having our 1st day of Raya in Singapore, but this year, I don't know what happen, my family decide to Raya in JB, which means, stayed at home watching TV. It was the most boring Raya ever. I don't know how to explain this, but it was bored. I was so pissed, because I know, I don't deserved this. It's disappointing. Oh, not to mention about duit raya. Makin besar, makin kurang duit adalah. 
And I got free calls for my birthday, I called some people only. I want to talk to my friends, exchanging raya stories, but they're all busy raya with family. Damn, I was fucking jealous.

PS: The drawings, I'll post when my next semester started. I know, the excitedness will be lessen. But who cares? I will make my own dateline. It'll be on Syawal. As in, by the end of Syawal, I will have 30 drawings.
XOXO

Stop.

Hey honey. I put on a hold from posting my drawings, due to something. And, I done like, 15 so far. I don't have any inspiration, I don't have ideas. I've been busy doing sisters and mothers errand. Like, send my lil sister and brother to madrasah, then help my mom doing the cook thaang, go to the supermarket buying stuffs that my mom asked, cleaning the mess that my lil siblings did, and went to the mosque, my sisters asked me to watch movie with them, accompany my dad to go to Singapore doing something something, and yeah, loads more. So, the little time that left, is for me to draw.

Oh, what's up with me? As usual, being emotional and depressed due to something that wasn't important. I'm tired of doing this, I hate this kinda feelings, but it left me no choice to just swallow it. Like, you know this ain't a voluntary action. The more you hold, the more you hurt. Whatthaheck right. None to ask, just ignore.


THROW ME AWAAAAAAAAYYYYY.
XOXO

Vulnerability.

Number 9.

I watch The Glee Project yesterday, their challenge is vulnerability. Like, Kurt's wearing tshirt 'Like Boys', Quinn's wearing 'Lucy Kaboosey', Santana's wearing 'Lebanese (lesbian, LOL)' and others wearing their tshirt with their weaknesses on their chest.

So, I'm thinking what's my biggest weakness? And I came out with 'Insecure'. I bet everyone has their own insecurities, but mine is proliferating since I failed so bad in semester 1. I became paranoid and everything all seems so negative. I think those who followed my blog, must've been realized that I, suddenly become all emotional and shits.

And, I want to tear off the cardboard (drawn above) and found a solution. Muhaha. Which is, work very hard and try to not fail bad. I know, everything has it's ups and downs, but I want to prevent that to happen. Can I? But, it's hard, yeah everything in the world is hard.

Wish me luck, buddy! ;)

XOXO

Dreams.

Number 8.

Ugh, I'm moving so slow. I don't think I can make it (30 drawings by the end of Ramadan), but I'm trying to work as hard as I can. 

Anyway, above is a dreamcatcher. Remember Jacob Black gave as a birthday present (if I'm not mistaken) to Bella Swan? Yeah, but I kinda design this myself. It's not perfect though. But, who cares? My siblings don't know what's a dreamcatcher. They never heard of them. Puuuuff. Dreamcatcher is, aaaah, just read here.

XOXO

Imagine.

Number 7.

Masterchef Australia kitchen. Look at the people I drew. Hehe, inspired by some architecture student's sketching. Cool huh?

Imagine you're one of the Masterchef contestant. You knew this is the place where you will learn a lot of new things and new skills by Masterclass (of course, duh?), friends and especially comments from the professionals. You expect something from them, for you to improve and become more skillful.

Okay, today's challenge is do a dessert. You tried your best, and done very confidently. And, when the judges taste your dessert, they commented, "Good, you may go to your table". How would you feel?

If I'm in your shoes, I'll be clueless, as in, I expect more, I need something like, "Oh, nice presentation. Okay let me taste. Hmm, very delicious, nice texture, less sweet but you put the guava more, which make it more fresh, I like it, it's very nice, I want to eat this again tomorrow! Good job!" or, "Ooh, what is this? Bad presentation, very dull, it looks very plain. But, it's okay, let see how it taste. Haaa, so, hmmm, okay, this is, em, not nice. The sauce is bitter, the texture is hard, the guava is too much, I can't even appreciate the sweetness of this dessert. Nani, I hope to see you in Pressure Test tomorrow".

XOXO

Little Brother.

Number 6.

Yesterday, the weather in JB was rainy and windy. So, basically every body, I bet must be laze around the house, sleeping under the warm blanket and such. And my little brother said this,

K: Mama, hujan lah. Keyi tak nak pergi sekolah agama. (Clothes-less and wandering in front of the screen watching Spongebob)

M: Takde, takde, kena pergi. Dah lah, hari Jumaat dah ponteng.

So, here, the sketching of my lil brother wearing his school shoes, for Madrasah.

Oh, oh, thanks to Adam for convincing me to buy the sketch book. Say goodbye to A4paper and big-blue-science-school book :D

XOXO

Alhamdulillah.

Number 5.

Inspired by Mr Men and Little Miss characters. I invented one.

So, Alhamdulillah. Allah gave me hidayah to wear hijab. I start to wear (really) permanently, when I was 18. And, many of them said that, now women wear hijab just because of the fashion. I thought, Alhamdulillah, at least, there's fashion that influenced women to use hijab and cover their beautiful hair.

Psst, the scanner ain't functioning, thus I'm just using 3 MP handphone camera.

XOXO

Death.

Number 4.

I, with no sketching skill, hereby, presents you, my randomly sketching.

*****

Innalillah, my friend, Mohammad Sempurna passed away today at 1230 pm. I went to the hospital to visit him at 1130 am. He was in the ICU room, the special one, in the glass room. His life depends on the machine. Obviously, he's coma. I've been told that, he's sick due to over-stress at work. He vomitted a lot,  get up to get some pills, then collapsed. My other friend told me that, his blood vessel at the main nerve (I guessed) burst. I think it's caused by thromboembolism.

So, let us pray and hope, Allah will forgive his sins and insya'Allah, he will be placed among the Soleh. 

*****

Al-Fateha.

XOXO

Swirly Tree.

Number 3.

Alice under the tree, reading a book.
There's owl/cat (depends on how you observe it) in the tree.
Oh, there's message in the tree. If you saw them, tell me by leave a comment.
ThankyouXD
XOXO

I'm Lost.

Number 2.

Forgive me for the low quality image. This is my second sketching. Huda XD saw my first sketching, she said, it was kinda lame. Because it's not original, I copied Disney's Mickey. As in, that Mickey wasn't my idea. She said, do something that I wanna draw, what I think, and why.

And, I come out with this (pointed above picture).  I'm lost. I actually lost back then, I don't get the fully idea of this challenge.

So, the picture explains, the girl in the middle, is lost. *See, she got no shadow! I think, her shadow also lost and trying to find her body* She blurred and slow. She can't think of which one to prefer or admire or adore or follow in her life. She always be in the middle of choices and said, "I don't know, I'm not sure myself, I think, I forgot....".

Let me explain what I drew/sketched, in case you don't see what am I doing. The right one is Black Metal Guy (sweating playing guitar). The right one is Ballad Guy (singing love song to the moon and ask the moon to tell his love that.....yak.....yak.....yak....) The girl is an intermediate girl. She's not sure what she likes. Either black metal or ballad.

It's more original, I guessed. Because I'm not copying from anywhere. It's just came out from my brain. And, my shading asal boleh jek. More original but, it's hideous compared with other challengers, but looking great if compared to Primary 1 students. 

XOXO

Ramadhan Challenge.

What challenge? Challenge of come out with 30 anything by the end of this holy month. I was asked to join this challenge by HudaXD. Well, basically she wants to see what am I 'made' up of. As in, she wants to see how creative am I. She's an architectural student. Well, duh, creative and talented in sketching and drawing and do whatever in art, I shall say. So, people, ready what am I came out with, today. You'll might be fainted after this. Gulp.

Number 1.

See the writings? I wrote, "Hello! I'm a NOOB in sketching". Top left is 320am, which the time I started to draw. Bottom left, END AT 355 am. I think, HudaXD can just sketch this Mickey with just 5 minutes. I don't know how to shade. Thus, I just go hentam-hentam one lehhh. Do you see Mickey's face as Mickey, or Mickey's granndy? I shaded those, not that I'm sketching Mickey's moustache and beard, okay?

Okay, why Mickey? It's because, the table where I about to use to start this project, got this 'Playhouse Disney Encyclopedia'. And, I saw Mickey and Minnie and Winnie the Pooh and Handy Manny guy on the cover page. Well I thought, "I don't know how to sketch. Hmph, nah, just give it a try by just sketch Mickey". Then, that's the answer why is Mickey the chosen one to be the first picture appeared.

So, here it is. My humble 'sketching' :DD

XOXO

The Green Ribbon

"Once there was a girl named Jenny. She was like all the other girl, except for one thing. She always wore a green ribbon around her neck. There was a boy named Alfred in her class. Alfred liked Jenny and Jenny liked Alfred. One day he asked her, “Why do you wear that ribbon all the time?” “I cannot tell you,” said Jenny. But Alfred keep asking, “Why do you wear it?” and Jenny would say, “It is not important”. Jenny and Alfred grew up and fell in love.

One day they got married. After their wedding, Alfred said “Now we are married, you must tell me about the green ribbon.” “You still must wait,” said Jenny “I will tell you when the right time comes”. Years passed. Alfred and Jenny grew old. One day Jenny became very sick. The doctor told her she was dying. Jenny called Alfred to her side. “Alfred, now I will tell you about the green ribbon . Untie it, and you will see why I could not tell you before.” Slowly and carefully, Alfred untied the ribbon, and Jenny’s head fell off."

FUNNY! Haha. I bet her 'green' ribbon had turned all brownish-blackish-doesn't-look-like-green-anymore due to the dirts on her body, had stained the ribbon. Yuck! Imagine, from school days until she grew old? Thank God it's fiction. Haha.
You wonder why I post this story? It's actually because I want to update my blog, but I don't know what to write about. And, two days ago, my little sister insisted to type this, her favourite story she got from The Book Of Riddles..something..something..I forgot. So, there, there, all the above texts, yes, she typed it all. Well, my little sister is 9 years old now, okay. Of course, she know how to type. She ain't a small girl!

I hope this story is funny enough to make you smile :)
XOXO

I'm not dead yet.

Hello, honey bunny! I am so sorry for abondoning this blog. I think, it's almost 2 weeks right? Last minute-depression stroke me. And, I'm busy with studying and worshipping Allah. It left me no time to update this blog. My special semester has over now. I, now, back to my hometown and celebrate Ramadhan and InsyaAllah, this coming Syawal with family. I am so happy with Ramadhan, yet for Syawal, my feelings are neutral. I don't know why. But, I do, can't wait for Raya foods :D

Okay, now, it's 11th Ramadhan 1432 (right?), I know, I am so late, obviously, for wishing Happy Fasting to my Muslims friends and Happy Go-To-Bazaar-Ramadhan-There're-Lots-Of-Delicious-Foods to my Non-Muslims friends :) I shall compete with other Muslims to do ibadah on Lailatul'Qadar night.

Hey, people! I want to share with you something.

Don't feel bad when others are lucky, while you're not. It's their rezeki for the time being. You just have to wait for your turn, to come up next. I always said that life is unfair. But, without you realized it, life is actually fair. After some time later, we received gifts from God. Then, we are the one who're lucky when others aren't. God is always fair. Patience must be with us. Challenge must be accepted and handled professionally.

PS: Someone called me cupcakes. I ask you, am I that sweet? X)
XOXO

Zoo and Animals.

I went to Zoo Negara today. It's a trip organised by my faculty, actually. We listened to a seminar called, Dental Anatomy Seminar.

So, here's some fun facts that I just learnt :D

Did you know that:

#1 A dolphin has 200++ teeth.
#2 An elephant has only four molars (type of teeth) that sized a brick for each of them.
#3 Sharks and crocodiles will always erupt/grow a new tooth whenever their teeth broken or whatever.
#4 Crocodiles have no specific types of teeth, like incisors, canine, molars. The shape of their teeth are all the same.
#5 The zoologists need to kill (in a good way) the animals, when the animals' teeth shed-off. Ever wonder why? Because the animals don't have the teeth to chew/tear/bite the food. So, they will ended up die anyway, due to lack of food intake. So, they need to kill them, or else the zoologists willingly to blend/grind the food for each of the animals.
#6 Even animals have cavities on their teeth.
#7 Even animals have diabetes. So they need to subcutaneously inject insulin, too.
#8 Snakes' mandible (jaw bone) didn't fused together like humans and any other animals. So, it is easy for them to swallow a cow (bigger than their head).
#9 Most mammals use their canine for breeding/mating. For grasping the neck of the female.
#10 By just looking at the bird's beak, you can guess whether they're carnivore, herbivore or omnivore. For example, if the beak is extremely hard and strong, they eat 'bangkai'.

Okay, that's the fun facts related to dental and animals. I want to babble more about our trip to the zoo. I want to share my 'feelings' towards animals. I want to comment about Zoo Negara. But, unfortunately, I am lazy. I want to, sort of, studying :DD

Alright. Sorry, no pictures.
XOXO

My Favourite Building

Currently, I'm excited to this link. You just type anything, then *POOF*, everything came out. So, one day, I typed, mosque. Because I know there's a lot of mosque in the world, and I want to see each of them, not literally, but especially the most famous one. They were Allah's house, as in, the place for the Muslims to pray and worship Allah. Despite those Petronas Twin Tower, Eiffel Tower, Empire State Building, Statue Of Liberty, yak.. yak.. yak.., I think, mosque is the most beautiful building ever. The designs, and the interior designs and the motive of the building is built, were brilliant.

Taj Mahal, India

Mohamed Ali Mosque, Cairo

Wonder why this picture is XL? Because I want you to appreciate the details :')

Ubudiah Mosque, Kuala Kangsar

Pictures courtesy to some random people's Flickr page. They disabled the download button, so I right -clicked and save the pictures. 

"In case if the owner of the picture see this, I am incredibly sorry, but I LOVE YOUR PICTURE a lot a lot. You are a good photographer. My God bless you :D"

Haiyoo, random nyaa! 
XOXO