The moment.

A guy and a girl who madly love each other sat on the edge of the cliff in the middle of the serene, silent night in the woods. Sometimes the silence broke by the sounds of the crackling crickets. No conversation made, just the distance warmth felt by the presence of each other sitting side by side.

The perfect moment to say to the girl, "look at the stars, look how they shine for you".
They stargazed, witnessing the beauty of each constellation shines to both of them. I bet the feelings were like flowers blooming so bright in the huge garden behind a flower-lady's backyard. I bet the moment was the best.

Perfect.
Nobody can beat that moment.
Not even a guy came with a surprise in a limousine.

I lost. I'm jealous. So jealous i could cry.

Dreams and the world.

What a very confused world this is. Everybody preach about how you should pursue your dreams, aim higher in your life, do something unique, spice up your life a little, no matter how stupid your dreams sounds.

But in reality, you can't because it's impossible eventhough it sounds possible. Just because the world is meant to be like that. And to me, those who pursued their dreams successfully, are just lucky. Not all people will support your effing dreams. Because to them they're just plain stupid and unrealistic.

In reality, not all people support you achieving your dreams.

Me.

I ask stupid questions to brilliant people and i don't know what they genuinely feel about it, because i feel very stupid and i just want to know and i don't know how to ask brilliant questions to them because i just don't know. I'm sorry that I'm stupid like that.

I'm not degrading myself, but i know what i am. And know what i want. I want to befriend and surrounded with brilliant people and i love being surrounded by them but i don't like what my thoughts of them thinking about me made me feel.

You know what i mean? No, of course you don't.

Goals.

More to life resolutions actually. I have this dreams. A dream of what kind of woman i wanna be in future (or i am preparing). One of them is, i wanna practice a life principle: when people treat you like crap, give them flowers.

Here's the thing. X didn't care for me like i care for X. So X did 'something' which broke my heart so bad, i cried. And i can foresee that X will forgets about what happened (bcs it didn't matter to X), and X will continue life like nothing had happened. I was so mad and sad, i should be doing the same thing to X lah kan? I should ignore and avoid any communication with X. But what happened just now was, i reply to X's tweet on how not well X is. Because obviously i still care. And instinct telling me to be nice and not to respond/ignore like crap X did to me. Because it's just not the nicest thing to do to people.

So the dilemma is, am i doing the right thing by give X flowers, or am i damaging/suffering myself because i know X will still not realize what had X done to me and there'll be high tendency for X to repeat the same 'something' that broke my heart?