Friday, February 13, 2015

Nightmare

You know its a nightmare when you woke up worried.

So in  that dream, i was about to leave a cafe. Pushing the glass doors out, and there's a guy sitting at the smoking area with a pair of shades on.

Then he stopped me. So i was standing, and he was sitting. His head exactly straight at my waist area.

Then he stares at my thighs, because in that dream i wore skinny jeans with a top that is not long enough to cover my thighs obviously. While he's staring at it, he slightly pulled the side of my jeans and said, "Hmm ketat", with a psyho voice and look.

SCARY WEH! It happened so fast! About three seconds, i would say?  I know its not scary enough to some of you. But in that dream, i was well of course scared and i felt so mad at him, because how dare he touched me! And the ultimate feeling was, i felt insulted, humiliated. I feel so cheap that he can suka-suka touch me like that.

I don't know whether this nightmare has a message or not. Whether it's a way for Allah to convey me a message or its shaitan. But the contents of the dream, it has value. Value that I can appreciate.

I wear regular-tapered-jeans kinda cut (its 1 mm loose from skinny jeans if you guys can't imagine). But I wanna get rid of it because I know it's so tight that it's not good for me. Not good (read as not covering the aurah well).

When I was on the plane to Jogjakarta, I borrow Een's 'Reclaim Your Heart' by Yasmin Mogahed. Then I stumble upon a paragraph (attached it together here). I know its a message Allah sent me through this book. It hits me so bad, that I decided to leave the regular-tapered jeans I was wearing at the hotel we're about to stay. And buy more skirts or pants that are loosely fit.

So why I wrote this? It's because I want to remember this 'nightmare' (right after I woke up from the dream, I reached my phone and engraving it while it still fresh in my mind). And I hope anybody who reads this (is there anybody who still reading blog posts though?) will take this realization and do something with your aurah too.

Verily, Allah really doesn't like His slave to wear something humiliating. Allah Maha Penyayang. Allah knows this humiliation will happen, that's why He asks us to cover our aurah really well.

I repeat, COVER our aurah, not WRAP it.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Hatred

I don't know. But lately, I hate you.
Gosh Nani, why do you have so many hatred in you?

But as much as husnudzon I want to do, your actions counter it back.

YOU LOOK DOWN AT PEOPLE!

Whyyy?

Not everybody is gifted like you. Not everybody is as lucky as you.

So don't.

Ps: I came across a tweet, it said 'if you have problems with people, it means that you have problems with Allah

So sad isn't it? Like you hate people, and you know you have it because you have problems with your God. *cry*

But I really think she should not do that. And he should not do that to me everytime. *cry*

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Dilemma

This is big issue. Its regarding smoking. Dilemma between dakwah or taat perintah ibu bapa.

I know a story where, they've encountered (a hell lot of times) where their dad ask them to buy him a box of cigarettes. Which they USED to buy for him since they were little. But now they realize that smoking is not good for their dad's health and its haram too.

Sidetrack: How do I know its haram? Logically, when something that Allah said its haram, its either not good for you or because it will lead your heart astray from the path to worship Allah.

And so because they love their dad so much, they agreed to each other not to help their dad buy cigarettes anymore.

One day, the dad ask A to buy. But she refused. Then dad sighed angrily and asked, "dosa sangat ke?", she answered, " ha'ah".

Simple short question that their dad asked, already made everyone of them sentap and A cried. Then, B tewas. She went to the shop and helped their dad buy one. Then miracle happened. Allah seriously tests us, whether we choose to buy or not. B came back and said, "marlboro light dah habis". MashaAllah. Allah helps us, so easy. Macam tu jek. MashaAllah.

When Allah said no, then its a no.

Okay tu jek.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Tadabbur Alam

I once scribbled something when we were on our way back to Shah Alam from Sg Buloh. The note was on 17th March 2014.

"I'm on my way to faculty. In the van, sitting next to En. Hasni, the driver.

Observing through this window of how the weather is today.

I remember how hot and dry, drought the weather was. The woods were burnt anywhere I go. Through out any journey, left and right. There were several burnt woods.

A few days ago, rain pouring heavily and drizzling, alternately.

And HAZE, innalillah, the haze was so bad.

It was so bad, that my hijab smells like one. The smoke stucked in my hijab.
It was so bad, that my throat is phlegm-ish and I coughed like WTV today.
It was so bad, that my eyes were in pain as I walked to anywhere.

And today, looking out this window, through this Guthrie highway and thought, "Masha-Allah. Alhamdulillah, the weather has turned like it supposed to".

Then again I thought, how Great The One is.
He is so Great, that He can just do whatever to us. To the lands and clouds and anything in between them.

He is The Right.
He is so Right that anything He does, has the reason behind it. He has the right to do this.

He is Strong.
Too powerful, that He can just make the Sun so bright.

So bright, the woods got burnt.
So bright, the water got evaporated.
So bright, the water supplies got disrupted.
So bright, the rain are afraid to form.
So bright, the white clouds got disappeared from the clear blue skies.

He controls everything. He can make the haze came and go. Though they said the rain poured down because they did cloud seeding, whatever it is. Alhamdulillah. It won't work if Allah said no.

One more thing I realized, although the woods burnt down, the branches left are still beautiful. Masha-Allah. How Great Allah is? I told you, He just do it.

"Originator of the heavens and the earth. When He decrees a matter, He only says to it, "Be," and it is."

Quran 2:117

Too Powerful, too Great,
He can get the trees alive back by pouring the rain,
He can get the trees die off by let the Sun goes as bright as it can.

"And of His signs is [that] He shows you the lightening [causing] fear and aspiration, and He sends down rain from the sky by which He brings to life the earth after its lifelessness. Indeed in that are signs for a people who use reason."

Quran 30:24

If He The Great can do that to the skies, the lands and anything in between, why would you think He can't does the same thing to us, humans?



Destinies written in Luh Mahfuz.
MH370; disappear, die, or alive?
Overdose in FMFA; mati katak je.

Aren't any of these enough evidences for us what Allah is trying to show?

Come on, Nani.
Have faith and improve yourself.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Oh dear dentistry - REQUIREMENTS

No I won't extend.
No I WON'T.

But, towards the end of year 4, I haven't have enough case.

I only issued one pair of denture. 8 units to go.
And I have 1 year to kejar?
Am I serious?
Gila ke apa ni!
(CRY!)

With single canal and endo molar lagi.
Am I serious?

With crowns and bridges.
With only 2 points for site 2 posterior.
Site 2 anterior still zero.
Am I serious?
(CRY!)

With Removable appliance yang only 3 patients tu?
I need 2 more.
Fixed appliance inshaAllah can kejar.
But seriously nani!?

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Hi Kak Ili!

Salam! Last two days, I told Kak Ili (my naqibah) about my first year friends. Then spilled to her that I like to blog back then. So she said she wants to check my blog out. To 'assess' me before tarbiyah. Like so funny when I thought my posts.

I don't know if she'd read it though. But if you do Kak Ili, leave a comment :D

I'm having study week for finals. Wish me luck. Doakan agar aku dapat kekuatan untuk focus, ketenangan jiwa, hati dan otak untuk menerima ilmu yang bakal masuk. Ameeeen.

Toodles!

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Death

One thing I just knew about death are I don't like changes and replacement made because of their absence.

They just won't be the same, of course. It totally needs time to adapt with their absence, then i'll accept replacement.