Sunday, August 23, 2015


"I wanna be that kinda of people when they talk, they only talk good stuffs and beneficial."

Okay that's my muqadimah. So yesterday at kak bieja's wedding, mak teh and 'mak angkat' were so excited to see me when i came and salam them at the entrance. They're super excited and tell each other how i will be mak teh's 'bakal menantu'.

You know who's mak teh? Besides being adam's aunty, she's also an akhawat. Adam knew i am fond of his cousin (mak teh's son), just because i know he's an ikhwah. On the nikah day (the day before yesterday), Adam introduced me to mak teh and told her how i am into usrah that kinda thing too, and she got excited, we talked about it and finally she said, "esok anak makcik ada, nanti boleh lah kenal-kenal". Next day i know, she's over the moon to see me.

And me? Super duper excited, and super nervous like i never feel so nervous about meeting people like this before. (Ok tipu lah, maybe jumpa lecturer yang garang aku ada nervous yang sama)

I came to the wedding as adam's bff since high school. We're like siblings already yknow. Siblings-no limitations-gelak-like-crazy-hilang-ayu kinda closed. So, the cousin was there, if he ever knows that how his mother said about me being 'bakal', it'd be a major turned off for him to see me freely mix around with non-muhrim like that. Its not like we bertepuk tampar and what not, its just we talked non-embarassingly comfortable with each other. (Me, gf, gf's sister, adam, wan)

However, I honestly don't know how to deal with that. Part of me know that it's wrong, and part of me want to be me (nafs?).

If i was the cousin, i wouldn't want my bakal zaujah to be the kinda woman who can easily mingle with non-muhrim like that. As if she has no sensitivity at all about how Allah said non-muhrims can't mingle unless there's a purpose.

So i ended up went home with sadness. Hahaha. Disappointed with myself i guess. But i don't wanna be a hypocrite. That's just me. I am like that, i am easily mingled with the guys (even before ditarbiah lagi). I'm not awkward like that. So this perangai of mine, terbawa-bawa although after ditarbiah. And i gotta admit, this perangai of mine is the most difficult to change. Gotta jihad and fight myself real hard with this one, i believe. But I'm glad, i be myself instead of cover-cover padahal real life tak macam tu pun.

Then i thought again, one shouldn't be judging oneself. Only Allah can judge me. But, first impression plays a helluva big role.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Butik Muslimah Online

This is something weird to post on my blog. But here it is. I'm gonna post something about fashion. Fashion changing, but you, as a muslimah do not change, you must understand the concept of tutup aurat / covering (not wrapping) your aurah. I mean, whatever outfit you put on, make sure the concept remains. Who doesn't love fashion right? Hence, we muslimah women must know how to identify the important pieces to own in one's closet. In order to look good, amazing, clean, not messy, and maintain its modesty. So here's the tips. There are three fashion clothing that any muslimah women needs. you ladies should always be smart in picking pieces which can be pulled together in different looks. Picking out timeless fashion pieces from butik muslimah online for women and you can step out of the house looking gorgeous from head-to-toe. So the first piece

 1. Maxi skirts - Maxi skirts are the basic and must-have piece in anybody's closet. It is modest, and keeping the feminine side of yours. I prefer the colour to be neutral, earthy kinds of colour. So its easy to mix and match with any tops. Suitable for formal, casual, traditional look too. 

This is my traditional look on 10th Shawal. I matched it with short kaftan.

2. Palazzo pants - It can be your favourite piece. because its loose, comfortable without restriction in movement, and you can run in it. lol. Besides maxi skirt, palazzo pants are also suitable for muslimah women to wear to various occasions and places in style. Be it at the office, parties or casual day outings,  these palazzo pants are very fashionable to wear for the entire day. I have a lot of printed palazzo pants. so my tops and hijab must be in neutral colour in order to 'rock' in em.

The way i expressed "palazzo is super comfy!"

3. Jogger pants - Those who are looking for a comfortable with a less flare pants, the jogger pants will definitely be the perfect choice. jogger pants are the ultimate alternative for a track suit pants but with a trendier look. you can maintain your Muslim identity while rocking the jogger pants in their own fashion style. Switch your bottoms with the trendy joggers for a new stylish appearance.

My casual look

Thursday, August 6, 2015


Salam after so many months I left here.

Summary of my life: I've failed to complete the freaking clinical requirements and hence i have to extend another semester and inshaallah will be finishing around February and will get posted probably on August.

So currently, I'm having my 2 months plus of semester break. Puasa, raya with family and friends. I can say that this holiday is very destressing, i love it.

But, one thing that i don't like when I'm particularly at home. I solat subuh late. This is not membuka pekung di dada. I want to express and want solutions from readers (if there's any lol) for my problem.

When I'm at home, old habit of lazy to pray and wanting to sleep all day and wake up when the sun already rised up (NOON!) are back. it's annoying. Because when I'm at college, i have schedule. Hence, my life was a bit organized. But when i have no schedule, i slept late, i woke up for subuh late. In fact this morning, i already woke up at 0608, but i decided to woke up at 0630 because iman level is beneath the sea level. But i end up woke up at 0700.

Have you heard of something like you are synonymly been covered with pig's skin when you already conscious for subuh, but you go back to sleep and konon-kononnya to wake up later?

Idk where i heard that, but its so scary. And one more, this one i heard from a lecture. If the same situation happened, but instead of you woke up late for subuh, you woke up the time after subuh and you wanna qada' subuh. And the qada' is not accepted. It'll be accepted when you're totally unconscious the whole subuh.

I hate the fact that i woke up late for subuh. The fact that i took 15 minutes to wake my sisters until they seriously wake up, is more annoying. What happened today is after 6 days of menstruation (read: 6 days of not waking up for subuh). Its okay, i pray that i still have tomorrow for improvement. Ameen.

Friday, February 13, 2015


You know its a nightmare when you woke up worried.

So in  that dream, i was about to leave a cafe. Pushing the glass doors out, and there's a guy sitting at the smoking area with a pair of shades on.

Then he stopped me. So i was standing, and he was sitting. His head exactly straight at my waist area.

Then he stares at my thighs, because in that dream i wore skinny jeans with a top that is not long enough to cover my thighs obviously. While he's staring at it, he slightly pulled the side of my jeans and said, "Hmm ketat", with a psyho voice and look.

SCARY WEH! It happened so fast! About three seconds, i would say?  I know its not scary enough to some of you. But in that dream, i was well of course scared and i felt so mad at him, because how dare he touched me! And the ultimate feeling was, i felt insulted, humiliated. I feel so cheap that he can suka-suka touch me like that.

I don't know whether this nightmare has a message or not. Whether it's a way for Allah to convey me a message or its shaitan. But the contents of the dream, it has value. Value that I can appreciate.

I wear regular-tapered-jeans kinda cut (its 1 mm loose from skinny jeans if you guys can't imagine). But I wanna get rid of it because I know it's so tight that it's not good for me. Not good (read as not covering the aurah well).

When I was on the plane to Jogjakarta, I borrow Een's 'Reclaim Your Heart' by Yasmin Mogahed. Then I stumble upon a paragraph (attached it together here). I know its a message Allah sent me through this book. It hits me so bad, that I decided to leave the regular-tapered jeans I was wearing at the hotel we're about to stay. And buy more skirts or pants that are loosely fit.

So why I wrote this? It's because I want to remember this 'nightmare' (right after I woke up from the dream, I reached my phone and engraving it while it still fresh in my mind). And I hope anybody who reads this (is there anybody who still reading blog posts though?) will take this realization and do something with your aurah too.

Verily, Allah really doesn't like His slave to wear something humiliating. Allah Maha Penyayang. Allah knows this humiliation will happen, that's why He asks us to cover our aurah really well.

I repeat, COVER our aurah, not WRAP it.

Thursday, January 8, 2015


I don't know. But lately, I hate you.
Gosh Nani, why do you have so many hatred in you?

But as much as husnudzon I want to do, your actions counter it back.



Not everybody is gifted like you. Not everybody is as lucky as you.

So don't.

Ps: I came across a tweet, it said 'if you have problems with people, it means that you have problems with Allah

So sad isn't it? Like you hate people, and you know you have it because you have problems with your God. *cry*

But I really think she should not do that. And he should not do that to me everytime. *cry*

Sunday, October 5, 2014


This is big issue. Its regarding smoking. Dilemma between dakwah or taat perintah ibu bapa.

I know a story where, they've encountered (a hell lot of times) where their dad ask them to buy him a box of cigarettes. Which they USED to buy for him since they were little. But now they realize that smoking is not good for their dad's health and its haram too.

Sidetrack: How do I know its haram? Logically, when something that Allah said its haram, its either not good for you or because it will lead your heart astray from the path to worship Allah.

And so because they love their dad so much, they agreed to each other not to help their dad buy cigarettes anymore.

One day, the dad ask A to buy. But she refused. Then dad sighed angrily and asked, "dosa sangat ke?", she answered, " ha'ah".

Simple short question that their dad asked, already made everyone of them sentap and A cried. Then, B tewas. She went to the shop and helped their dad buy one. Then miracle happened. Allah seriously tests us, whether we choose to buy or not. B came back and said, "marlboro light dah habis". MashaAllah. Allah helps us, so easy. Macam tu jek. MashaAllah.

When Allah said no, then its a no.

Okay tu jek.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Tadabbur Alam

I once scribbled something when we were on our way back to Shah Alam from Sg Buloh. The note was on 17th March 2014.

"I'm on my way to faculty. In the van, sitting next to En. Hasni, the driver.

Observing through this window of how the weather is today.

I remember how hot and dry, drought the weather was. The woods were burnt anywhere I go. Through out any journey, left and right. There were several burnt woods.

A few days ago, rain pouring heavily and drizzling, alternately.

And HAZE, innalillah, the haze was so bad.

It was so bad, that my hijab smells like one. The smoke stucked in my hijab.
It was so bad, that my throat is phlegm-ish and I coughed like WTV today.
It was so bad, that my eyes were in pain as I walked to anywhere.

And today, looking out this window, through this Guthrie highway and thought, "Masha-Allah. Alhamdulillah, the weather has turned like it supposed to".

Then again I thought, how Great The One is.
He is so Great, that He can just do whatever to us. To the lands and clouds and anything in between them.

He is The Right.
He is so Right that anything He does, has the reason behind it. He has the right to do this.

He is Strong.
Too powerful, that He can just make the Sun so bright.

So bright, the woods got burnt.
So bright, the water got evaporated.
So bright, the water supplies got disrupted.
So bright, the rain are afraid to form.
So bright, the white clouds got disappeared from the clear blue skies.

He controls everything. He can make the haze came and go. Though they said the rain poured down because they did cloud seeding, whatever it is. Alhamdulillah. It won't work if Allah said no.

One more thing I realized, although the woods burnt down, the branches left are still beautiful. Masha-Allah. How Great Allah is? I told you, He just do it.

"Originator of the heavens and the earth. When He decrees a matter, He only says to it, "Be," and it is."

Quran 2:117

Too Powerful, too Great,
He can get the trees alive back by pouring the rain,
He can get the trees die off by let the Sun goes as bright as it can.

"And of His signs is [that] He shows you the lightening [causing] fear and aspiration, and He sends down rain from the sky by which He brings to life the earth after its lifelessness. Indeed in that are signs for a people who use reason."

Quran 30:24

If He The Great can do that to the skies, the lands and anything in between, why would you think He can't does the same thing to us, humans?

Destinies written in Luh Mahfuz.
MH370; disappear, die, or alive?
Overdose in FMFA; mati katak je.

Aren't any of these enough evidences for us what Allah is trying to show?

Come on, Nani.
Have faith and improve yourself.