I know the fact that,

I know that my course is integrated. Thus, I need to study hard. Real hard.
I know that I have to score and pass for this final exam. Or else, I have to sit for remedial exam.
I know that remedial exam would be damn hell difficult. So, I don't want to sit for remedial exam.
I know that if someone failed remedial exam, he/she will repeat the whole year. He/She does not want that.

I know that today was my first time went to KLIA. But, I prefer Changi Airport, Singapore more.
I know that I am not a bias. Eventhough my dad is a Singaporean.

I know that Shah Alam's taxi driver do not know how to drive safely.
I know that the taxi fares from Shah Alam train station to Section 2, Shah Alam costed RM20.
I know that we had been cheated by an Indian taxi driver.
I know it's too much.

I know that all degree students will have their final semester holiday until this September.
I know that my batch will have our final semester holiday only until this July.
I know that they (the upper party of the faculty) will prepare a four-weeks module during August.
I know that they will not allow us to have our 'happiness-and-forgets-the-world' holiday.

Nani is smiling happily and heavenly in the roti-land.

P/S: I know the fact that I owned a Mentholatum Sunplay Skin Aqua BB Cream today!!

XOXO

Sepet-ness

Today, we had lunch at Noodle Station. This was because to celebrate Ummi's birthday. We didn't prepare any surprise for her. But, I'd made a birthday card for her. She said it's so sweet. Well, I'm flattered :)
So, before we're having our lunch, we took some pictures and a video. I watched back the video and I saw me talking to the camera, with eyes closed. What thaaa? As long as I remember, while recording the video, I was opening my eyes and making 'eye-contact' with the lens of the camera. And I asked my friends, "Mata aku memang macam ni eh kalau berbual?". Then, they asked me back, "Kau buka mata ke selalunya kalau berbual?". Omg, I was like this, -.-"
I swear, I can't see my eyes when I'm watching the video. And sumpah, I never realize that my eyes are that 'big'.

So friends, I'm just going to tell you that whenever I'm talking to you,
MY EYES ARE OPENED. Seriously, I am making 'eye-contact' with you. Oh, unfortunately, I don't have the video with me, so I don't have the evidence to show you.

Hoo-yeah, this is the card that I'd made for Ummi.

This is the picture of me and a 10 months baby that we met at surau.

I just can't resist! She's so cute. And it's been a while I didn't hug or carry or whatever, a baby.

P/S: I want a BB Cream so muchh! Huargh!
XOXO

I can't understand people.

I done nothing and they're avoiding me. Why's that happen? Shit, right. Honestly, if I got some attitude problem, you can just say it in front of my face, man. I can or maybe proudly change it just because of you.
Oh yes, I am still a lover-phobic, for your information. So, basically I won't respond to whatever steps that guys are trying to take. But, we can still be friends. I am happy that I am single.

P/S: I regretted every single fucking seconds with my ex-boyfriend. I hate him a lot, a lot. T.T People, don't fall in love if you're single.
XOXO

Don't actually have to read this.

You know what, during this week, I don't have any stories to share. Hmm. It's such a boring weekend. With the same routine. Yesterday, I went to 'Wong Solo'. Hahh, what the heck is Wong Solo anyway? It's a warong or restaurant? I don't know. They sell Indonesian foods. Popular with Nasi Ayam Penyet. It's very delicious and also spicehhh. Makin pedas, makin nak. Hehe. Go and try one with your friends and family. It situated at Section 7, Shah Alam. See, my saliva stimulated already. Haha. Oops, sorry I don't have the pictures to show you. I was eating and forget the world :)
Hey, I was doing some random stuff just now. I logged in my Myspace account. It's like two years I left my Myspace account. And I saw this old pictures.

It's post SPM. Oh, this was my first trial using a shawl.

Me, Adam and Ameer.

This is the picture of my adiks. My caption was, "Spot the differences".

This is also the picture of post SPM. Seriously 'post'.

As you can see Adam was still with his school uniform.

Oh, there's picture of me and Teena having dessert after eating the main, spicy dishes.

Note: This isn't the picture that I took from my Myspace account. It's at Wong Solo.

Okay, thanks for reading peepies.

XOXO

Report Presentation.

Now, I'm free from assignment, reports and presentation. (For the time being) Actually, PBSM and Ethnic Relation presentation are not even prepared yet. Pff.

So this morning, my partner and I had a 20 minutes presentation on title 'Candidiasis and Oral Health'. Yes, this is the one that I kept complaining to you about. For your information, I had actually done an A4 paper-full-with-text script. If I present spontaneously, my English will be mixed with Malay. There will be, "blah,blah,blah, -lah", "like that, lah, like this lah". Okay, what the heck is 'lah' in a formal presentation? Ergh. I also tend to get tachycardia. Hahh, you can obviously see how lack my confidence are! :( And yeah, I depend on that script 95%. So, I just read, with no eye contact with the audience.

But, I'm really happy with the slides that I had already prepared.

Here are some part of my slides,

Hah! What do you think? Pity my friends and Dr Luay and Puan Hayati and Dr. Kazi and Mr Eddy. I hope they didn't feel like they're kindergarten kids. I really don't know how to make my slides interesting. I'm not creative. Thus, I play with colours. Hehe. I love colours! Err, do you realize that my slides are actually colouful? :/ Whatever it is, I love my 'Thank you, people' slide :)

P/S: Please appreciate people who understands you the most.
XOXO

Oh, come on!

This menstruation-emotional-unstable really is disturbing me. Argh! I depressed due to something isn't important at all. I was easily emotionally disturbed and distracted, shiittt! I tend to think negatively on people behaviour. Anyway, tomorrow is Thaipusam public holiday. I planned something, as in studying for tomorrow's activity. Boring? I know, whatever you say. Er, you know what, just now, there's an announcement made. It's said, "Perhatian kepada semua pelajar, esok tiada bekalan elektrik dari 8 pagi hingga 5 petang. Terima kasih".

Okay, I'm so pisssed!
XOXO

This quiz is damn smart!

Yesterday, I took a personality quiz at Facebook. I was asked by my friend to do this quiz. Its's a Keirsey personality quiz. There are 66 questions altogether. Okay, I'll tell you something, it'll be a bonus for those who are very good in their vocabulary. Obviously, my vocab are bad. That's why I need a dictionary. I refer to dictionary for search at least one word for each question.
So, here's my results,

"Siti got ► Idealist Teacher

You are introspective, cooperative, directive, and expressive. You look for the very best and expect the best out of those around you. You are highly capable of helping learners express their inner potential. You communicate to your pupils that each one of them has the potential to succeed and motivate others to meet the Teacher's positive expectations. You like to have things organized, settled and planned out. You will usually have your work hours and social engagements planned well in advance and can be trusted to honor your commitments. However, you are also capable of using your creativity to invent engaging learning activities for your pupils with little planning. You are more an educational leader than you are a social leader, your primary interest being the growth and development of others. You have a highly developed intuition. You are highly skilled at understanding what is going on within yourself and others. You often find yourself mirroring the beliefs, characteristics, and emotions of those you have contact with to generate rapport. This enables you to feel a close connection with others and develop a personal involvement in the joys and problems of others. You consider people to be your highest priority, and your communication often asserts a personal concern and willingness to help others. You are warm, outgoing, and value harmonious relations and interpersonal communication. You are usually easy to get along with, tolerant of others, and popular. You may also be the most expressive of all the role variants. You have exceptional language skills and don't hesitate to share your feelings, beliefs and ideas. You are very enthusiastic and can be a charismatic public speaker. Your exceptional language skills enhance your influence within groups, and you are often asked to assume leadership roles. Famous Teachers include Mikhael Gorbachev, Pope John Paul II, Ralph Nader, and Oprah Winfrey."

Okay, the results are so true. I am a good teacher. I am capable to help people to express their inner potential. Well, I guessed, I'm gifted? Haha. I'm so grateful, then. But, I am a 'teacher' who only know how to motivate her students and didn't know how to motivate herself. Pffsh. So, people, try this. And explore your own personality. Insyaallah, whatever the quiz said are true!

P/S: I can't believe I really trust this thing X)
XOXO

Happiness.

WARNING: This post may be long and no pictures. Just sentences. Leave this page immediately for those who are not interested.

Okay, what's so happy? Today I only have one class. And it's not a lecture, it's more to like revision to all the lectures. Then, we got BEL class for group A. Luckily, I am in the group B. Here I am, updating my blog after three days left. 

Just now, I done my laundry. As I walked to the machine, with my hands full with a pail of full dirty clothes, and towel, detergent and softener, I saw a cat walking or crawling very slowly, step by step, to approach something. I thought it was a lizard or a cockroach. But, it was another cat. They start to whine at each other when they were face to face. I don't think the cat realize me behind him/her, *I don't realize the ball*. When, I walked in front of them, they were suddenly stop whining and pretend nothing happen. Haha. I don't know cats knew how to 'cover-line-clear' thingy. I was amazed. FYI, I don't have cats. And I don't like cats. But, cats are cute, though. So, I don't know cats' feelings and activities. 

My weekend was BLAWESOME!

I did not regret the fact that I didn't go to the Annual Grand Meeting of PBSM on last Sunday. I heard it was damn hell bored. Grinning :D

I went to University of Malaya. It was my first time. To meet some friends and there's some small festival were held there. It was great, although it's raining, but it's fun. At first, I only with my best friend, but at the end up of the day, I was closed to 3-4 friends. They're all new! So, basically, I was making new friends there :) I told you about the battle of the band right? My friend took part. They performed 'She's a genius' by JET. They're damn cool, but they're not winning. But, at least they're having fun on the stage. Hehe. I like.

During the festival, most of the time, I was the only girl in a group of 4-5 guys. I was having so much fun. And I acted like one too. Haha. There's one band performed 'Mr. Brightside' by The Killers. And, what a coincidence, we memorize the lyrics. So, we were the only one who're screaming and sing-along in the middle of the crowd. People were staring at us but, we didn't give a shit, and mind our own business. Oh, so fun! Haha.

Then, at night, I was staying at new friend’s place. She’s so nice, cool and very kind too. After washing up, we were having a one-two hours of pillow talk. Haha. It’s very cute, right? It was so long I haven’t done a pillow talk since my foundation year. Hmm. Eventhough, me and her were just making a new friendship bond, but at that night, I felt like she was my long-lost friend. Haha. How weird was that? I don’t know, we talked a lot. I hope there will be other next time.

Okay, that’s it. Maybe it’s not as fun as your weekend. But, I love mine! Hehe. And, my Oral Biology report is almost done. I just have to do the presentation slide.

Okie Dokie, peeps,

XOXO

Damn it!

In the middle of the night, while I was doing my Oral Biology report, while I was listening to my 'Love Songs' playlists, I, full with stupidness, am thinking of you. I thought I can forget you long time ago. Sadness filled me. Fuck!


P/S: This is my blog, my flushable toilet, my disposable air-sick bag, my reusable plastic bag. Please stay away from this shit.
XOXO

Excuses and reasons.

I told you I will not going to update my blog for maybe a week, right? But it seems like I'm updating it almost every single day. Pffsh. Oh, it's because, firstly, I'm addicted to it. Secondly, I was sick, so I didn't do my assignment. Thirdly, my posts are so short, thus it doesn't take me too long to type or to write, uh, I don't know. Fourthly, I was quite depressed with stuffs happening to me lately, so, I have to puke my feelings here. Fifthly, er, okay there's no other reasons.

Just now, I went to Old Blossom Box boutique. If you ever knew about it, it's like blogshop, that got it's own shop at the outside of the IT thingy. It's very vintage-yy. I bought something. But, I don't know, whether I'm going to use it or not. But if I do, I'll share with you, peepies. Okay, got to go.

Senja sudah,
XOXO

Life is so fair.

Yesterday, was my bad day of the week. After, I got my lousy Basic Medical Science (BMS) results, I have high fever. The whole body are weak. But today, despite that my condition are getting better, I got my Oral Biology (OB) results. Its way better compared to BMS. See, it's life. God are testing every single time. You just have to endure and accept, then improve.

Alhamdulillah,
XOXO

Irony

I'm not sure whether this is related to the title or not. I just want to say that, no wonder yesterday I was soo hyper active and happy and full with laughters but today, it ended up with fret-ness and down, blue, and tears. Life is so fair.

I'm sure they can even predict what's mine. I don't care about theirs. I am the most playful, the most lazy, I'm the head of all sleepyheads in the world, the most slow-working-and-functioning-brain in class. I felt like I don't belong here.

What's wrong with me? I'm leading this life as if I was still at school. I am so not professional. I was so yesterday. And where was my new resolution for this year? I guessed, it's all just hangat-hangat tahi ayam?

No, no! I cannot continue with this kind of bullshits. What am I thinking? I'm not living in the fantasies and wonderland world. Face the realities, loser! GO and make a change! A drastic one, that's for sure!

P/S: Thanks, bff.
XOXO

Hey, hey you!

I just want to tell you that I might not updating my blog for, maybe a week. Because there are tonnes of assignment that have to be finished. Gingivitis and Candidiasis were that's all about. Well, my bad I haven't change this habit, last minutes preparations. Come on, Nani. This is new year. Hehh. Hahh! I also want to tell you that I want to go to Universiti Malaya this weekend. Because I got friends who are entering the battle of the band there. It will be held at night. I must stay somewhere, right? It's too late for me to go back to Shah Alam that night, alone and it's dangerous. But then, I got no close female friends who stayed at the college there. I want to go soo badly :( You know what? The event will be on 15th January night. Which in the morning on that day, I got PBSM. You know, like the school days, kokorikulum. Pffsh. Then, on 16th I got PBSM Annual Grand Meeting. It's Sunday, siah! That's the part which I don't agree at all. I know, it's not important at all. But there's marks included for Kemahiran Insaniah (KI). Darn, KI. So, I have to attend. Plus, the attendance are more strict lah now. I don't want to repeat PBSM for another one sem. That'll so yucks.

Depressed,
XOXO

Some advice that I wanted to share.

I read this at Facebook. My friend share this note to her friends.


"Di suatu malam depan panggung wayang…

Sizuka : Best tengok wayang dgn awk td..kelakar je cerita tu..xbosan kan?
Nobita : A’ ah xbosan. Best!
Sizuka : Kalau best, knp awk letakkan kepala awk kat bahu sy & beritahu sy y awk mengantuk?
Nobita : Errr~ hehe..

Sizuka : Nasib baik kita pakai sweater kn awk? Kalau x, mesti sejuk dalam tu td.
Nobita : A’ah..btul3! Xdela sejuk sgt td bila dah pakai sweater ni.
Sizuka : Klu xsejuk, kenapa awk pegang tangan sy & beritahu y awk sejuk?
Nobita : Errr~ hehe..

Mereka pun menuju ke i-City..

Sizuka : Awk, sy cantik x?
Nobita : Awk kn syg sy..mestilah cantik..
Sizuka : Kalau sy ni betul cantik bagi awk, kenapa bila sy pakai baju-baju tertentu baru awak akan puji sy cantik. Kalau sy pakai baju longgar, awk diam je..kadang-kadang awk akan tanya saya kenapa pakai baju besar..kalau sy pakai baju ketat, baru awk puji sy cantik..knp ye?
Nobita : Errr~ hehe..

Mereka pun tiba di i-City..

Sizuka : Jom snap pic wak..sy nak tangkap gambar awk bawah lampu tu.
Nobita : Kita tangkap gambar berdua la syg. Meh sini, duduk sebelah sy. Rapat sikit, nanti xmasuk plak gambar awk.
Sizuka : Boleh ke rapat-rapat ni?huu
Nobita : Takpe de..awk kn awek sy..
Sizuka : Awek je..bukan isteri yg sah..
Nobita : Errr~ huhu..

Sizuka : Nanti sy simpan gambar kita ni dalam laptop sy ye wak.
Nobita : Alaa..upload la terus dalam fb.
Sizuka : Eh..boleh ke..xelok la wak..gambar tu dah la awk & sy je..yang ke-3 syaitan..pastu nak pergi heboh 1 dunia tentang dosa y kita buat..xmalu ke?huu
Nobita : Errr~ huhu..

Mereka pun pulang..

Sizuka : “Awk, awk syg sy x?
Nobita : Mestilah syg..syg sangat2 tau..haa
Sizuka : Buktinya??
Nobita : Eh..mcm ajak bergurau je..nak sy kiss pipi awk tu ke syg?hehe
Sizuka : Ish..apa ni? Teruknya pemikiran awk..huu
Nobita : Eh..errr~ huhu

Sizuka :  Mak sy kata, kalau kita syg sesuatu tu, kita akan jaga sebaik mungkin.
Nobita : Eh..mestila! hehe
Sizuka : Tapi awk tipu sy!huu~
Nobita : Eh..kenapa plak sy tipu awk??
Sizuka : Kalau awk syg sy, mestilah awk jaga sy sebaik mungkin tp awk xjaga sy dgn baik pun..awk sentuh-sentuh sy, pegang tangan sy, cuba nk kiss sy,ajar sy buat benda bukan-bukan yg sy xpernah buat sebelum ni, selalu ajak sy keluar malam-malam.

Nobita : Owh..sekarang awk nak salahkan sy la ajak awk keluar malam?? Mak ayah awk yg bg izin tau!
Sizuka : Memang diorang y bagi izin tapi awk tau x y diorang jugak y akan tanggung dosa sy dgn awk malam-malam macam ni sbb diorang bg izin pada sy ank perempuan diorang utk keluar dgn lelaki bukan mahram tanpa adik atau abang sy sebagai peneman pastu buat benda-benda xsenonoh! Pegang sana pegang sini..awk tau x panggung wayang tu mungkin sejuk bagi awk sampai terpegang tangan sy dgn sengaja, tp neraka tu teramat panas & tangan awk y memegang tangan sy tu akan dibakar dalam api neraka berulang kali..awk sedar x semua tu?? Tangkap gambar nak kepit-kepit, padahal boleh je tangkap gambar sorang-sorang kan..then, nak heboh kat 1 dunia. Pastu nanti org ‘like’ awk pun suka sebab orang tau siapa awek awk & hubungan awk dan sy kononnya bahagia tapi awk sedar x yang malaikat sentiasa mencatat segala apa yg kita buat..awk ada ilmu agama..klu xde ilmu agama pun, awk tau benda tu salah..tp kenapa masih buat? Awk sedar x semua tu??? Ingat Allah tak waktu awk buat semua tu?? Awk tu belum tentu jodoh sy, nak sentuh-sentuh sy. Kalau da awk nak sentuh-sentuh sy, apa je y suami sy boleh dapat special dari sy sbg isterinya y sah? Awk nak ke isteri awk dah macam sisa orang? Awk mesti akan cakap awk akan pastikan y awk akan nikah dgn sy sebab tu awk boleh sentuh-sentuh sy..tp awk sedar x y awk tu siapa?? hanya hamba Allah...awk bukan tuhan utk tahu siapa jodoh sy & jodoh awk..awk sedar x semua tu??? Klu betul awk syg sy, awk jaga lah sy baik-baik, beri sokongan sy jd muslimah solehah…dekatkan diri pada Allah, mohon pada Allah supaya izinkan kita dijodohkan bersama kerana sy ni milik Allah..ibu bapa hanya penjaga sy, mereka menjaga sy dgn penuh kasih sayang & didikan y baik sehingga sanggup memberi kepercayaan pada awk utk menjaga sy, tp awk jaga sy x??awk jaga sy x?? x kan..awk bawa sy kea rah keburukan..awk sedar x semua tu??? Banyak lagi y awk buat kat sy, sy pun terlalu kurang pandai ikutkan je kemahuan awk..nanti kat neraka bila Allah soal sy dgn dosa-dosa maksiat y kita buat, bukannya awk dapat backup sy dpn Allah..kn?? Tolonglah tahan diri tu sehingga kita dah sah dinikahkan..huuu~

Suasana bertukar menjadi suram...sehinggalah nobita mula meluah perasaan...

Nobita : Kenapa x dari dulu awk cakap semua benda ni?? Kenapa bila kita dah lalui macam-macam baru awk nak luahkan semua ni???
Sizuka : Sebab sebelum awk nak couple sgn sy, awk janji yang awk akan jaga sy baik-baik. Awk suka dengan saya pun sebab bagi awk sy baik tapi semakin lama awak makin berubah. Perubahan awk turut merubah diri sy. Baru sekarang sy luah semua benda ni sebab selama ni sy sentiasa menanti agar Nobita y dulu kembali. Nobita y menjaga sy dgn baik. Sy tunggu Nobita tu..tunggu & terus menunggu kerana sy sayangkan dia. Tapi semakin lama sy tunggu, semakin menjadi-jadi...awk fikirlah baik-baik apa y sy sampaikan...kalau awk masih xberubah, lepaskan sy kerana Allah..

Nobita : ......

[Pesanan : kepada pasangan yg hangat menyulam cinta & kasih sayang, jagalah batas anda! Ingat larangan Allah…cinta itu indah krn Allah yg menciptakannya tapi jangan sampai cinta utk Allah itu dinodai oleh cinta manusia..menjadi kebiasaan, dalam berkasih ada kesalahan y akan dilakukan..seringlah muhasabah diri & beranikan diri untuk mula buat perubahan..beranikan diri menegur pasangan sebelum Allah menegur dengan pembalasan & azab..wallahu’alam~]

peringatan utk semua, beribu kali peringatan utk diri y teramat hina ini~ "

While I'm reading this, I actually having my flashback with my ex-boyfriend, M. I don't know what to say, I felt very damn guilty to Allah. Astaghfirullahhal'azim!! I was exactly felt the same thing as Sizuka's. I was kind of stucked and maybe I'm not that clever to face this kind of problem. 


Ya Allah, ampunilah dosaku. Amin.

P/S: Feel free to comment or insult me about this thing. But thanks to God, I'm single now. I regretted every single second when I'm with him. I have to change to be a better and more muslimah person. InsyaAllah. I guessed, I had done the very right thing. Alhamdulillah. I hope, my friends didn't do the sinful thing while they're dating.


XOXO

Description Of Me.

Syan decsribed me as,

“2525 ; haha minah nie sumpah sengal gilaa. tp sengal2 pon best lyn sbb kitorg mmg 1 kpale. knal thru kwn2 laen gak. she sees the beauty in sarcasm, which makes her more awesome. org mayb ckp die pelik, tp pd sy die sgt cool okayy ;D so jgn sdey2 lg, rmai lg org yg boleh trima spe diri kite seadanya :) love you!”

Abu described me as,

“2525-kwn kpd kwn aku n skrg kwn aku,haha..si dukun gigi oii,aku nk choc kau lg,sdap kot,hohoho..2525,aku tau kau dh lalui mcm2 bnde n all that misery in your head,just be calm girl..chillex n u just need to hence up ur confidence a lil bit..u may discover ur own true self,it is just the time matters..strengthen up your confidence n do have faith n God always be by ur side..guddy lucky girl!! ;)”

Faris Kamal described me as,

“2525 - most of the time i can see u at burn's and adam's status. but recently only get to know u. and met u at bukit jalil. haha.. great person,great personalities! well hope there's more to come! stay happy!! =)”

Intan described me as,

“2525 :) die nia adik kawan aku.. first time jumpa kat uitm la. tman kwn aku tu g visit die. hehe. die ni sorng yg pndai sb amek medic kot kat uitm. dental kan? huu. die suke tlg org nak2 kakak die kan ;) awk sorng adik yg sgt baek tau. btuah kakak awk dpt awk n then die ni jenis yg senang nak share mcm2 kat die. wpun die adk kwn aku. blaja elok2 tau n jgn pduli sgt ape yg org kliling ckp sal awk :)”

Lyana described me as,

“‎2525 - First of all, mesti laa aku nak mention yg aku knl kau ni dlm bas. Ta bole lupa weyy *Geng Bas Skola* weet weet. Pastu kita ni classmate plak n umah dkt jerk. Lg la buat kita rapat. Kau dlu boyish gilaa, HYPER ! Ngan rmbut pendek blonde kau tu. Dah la slalu cubit aku smpai lebam kuning. Haha. Ta sangka kau skang da girlish. Cantik brtudung lg, you ! And aku jeles akan kepintaran kau tu wahai becoming dentist”

Aten described me as,

“Kurt Cobain once said wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.You out of all people showed me how true this was.You taught it’s not okay to just blend in but I have to stand out so I wouldn’t miss out on life. You also taught me its okay sometimes for people to hate me because they’ve been missing out and I haven’t.I have never met anyone that taught me so much about myself.Thank you.”

Zana described me as,

“‎2525 - si gadis ala ala tomboi. hihi. tapi tu time skola dulu, berambut pendek karat sana sini. haha. skrg dah ayu bertudung, tp ganas tak hilang2. hihi. aku plg takut ble dia drive, laju gila. kecut perut aku. haha. dia ni pun agak baran jugak, xblh ada yg slh kat mata dia. nnti rimau malaya keluar, adeh! even kau mcm tu pun, otak dia, fulamak tiptop. jgn main2 dgn bakal dentist. hihi. iloveyou laa bebeh! ♥”

Zazu described me as,

“‎2525 : aku tringin sgt2 nk tgk mcmne ko skrg sbb klau psl style n personality,ko no1!dr dlu ko mmg up-to-date(: bile mase da blalu ni,aku xthu la nk ckp pengalaman dlm bus leman dlu tu adalah knangan mnis ke,or pahit.n stil wondering,ko pkul2 n cubit2 org lg x skrg smbil ko bcakap??haha i miss u!!”

Zaff described me as,

“dear 2525. perasan dia time asasi dulu. msuk dentstry bru knal. dia ni cm sempoi gler suke mix n match kan color ble pkai bju kurung. which is a good thing. very daring. i loike.=) oh time dinner asasi cm tabik spring ah kt dia sbb pkai cm GEEKY. girls y laen sume Beauty. pastu slalu nmpk dia tdo dlm kelas. haha *ade jgk geng tdo dlm klas, fuhhhh* and gelak dia cm comel je. hahahaha papepn, stay sempoi slalu!!~~”

Huda described me as,

"2525 u are the coolest person i have ever met.u wear the coolest things,u have the coolest friends.u know what's in and what's not without the help of any magazines.u're not afraid to be urself,u're smart,u're compassionate,u're selfless,u're like a hard candy with a surprise center.u have confidence in urself,so never lose it just cause some stupid girl is jealous of u.i love u.a lot."

XOXO

Confession of my un-important heart.

*You know what, if you think that my title of this post are pathetic, or attention seeker or lack of love or whatever hell, go ahead. And I hope that you can immediately leave this page now. I don't need peeps like you. Thank you.*

Okay, here it goes. Since the first time I saw you, I was heartless. Then, before we met for the second time, we're actually quite close. We communicated with each other a lot. We actually get know each other better. Still, we're bestfriends. After we met, I don't know, uh, I just thought that you're freaking cool, so damn kind-hearted, and also quite not bad looking. I was actually having a crush on you for like five seconds. And suddenly right, er, you changed. We're not close anymore. I realized that you're some sort like trying to avoid me. I really don't know why. I don't think I'd done anything wrong. I treated you like one of my besties. Honest! Nothing special. Maybe, you thought that I'm trying to flirt at you, aren't you? Come on, I'm sick of being in love too.

XOXO

Random evening

After class, I went to meet some old friend during lunch time. He used to be my bestfriend. Er. I guessed, until now. I called him "My Zombie". But, we haven't seen each other for too long. When we met, I felt awkward. Even for just, uh, 5 minutes? Yeah.
After that, I went to the supermarket to buy some daily-need stuffs. I walked to the supermarket. It's quite far and exhausted. Even, I went to the supermarket alone, somehow, I felt happy and I felt free? I don't know what's the right word. But, I do really felt my freedom. Maybe, because I'm out from the UiTM gate? I don't know. While I was breathing, some smell of nicotine and easy to say, cigar, enter my lungs and suddenly I missed my daddy. Well, you know, in campus you're not allowed to smoke. It's been a long time I haven't been a passive smoker. Hehh.

*Oh, I want to take this opportunity, to tell you that my aunt passed away due to malignant disease. Sedekah kan Al-Fatihah kepadanya, kawan-kawan. I hope she'll be placed at the solehah groups. Amin. I also hope my cousin can be strong to face this news.

Just now, me and some of my besties talked about the 'school-old-times' memory. I got to say this, I really miss school. I miss wearing school uniform. Er, that's it. Random post in the evening.

Selamat Solat Maghrib.
XOXO

Zapin!

It's been a long time I left zapin. Last time, it was at school. I was fifteen that time. Me and a large group of friends performed on the school Sports Day event. I wasn't that graceful anyway. It's just for fun and gained experience. Today, me and my course-mate performed zapin in front of the VIP, the Dean, deputies, lecturers and friends. On the stage. Only 7 of us. Haha! I tell you what, I was damn nervous back then. But, I smiled to overcome those nervous-ness. Its cute, right. I know. Hehh.
Anyway, my bestfriend told me, I was getting more and more narcisist lately. Honestly, I don't even realize where that narcisism come from. I don't know. I'm just proud of myself. Well, obviously it's the definition of narcist :)))
Continue to my zapin story, after I finished perform, my classmate said this to me, "Eh, Nani. Aku tak tahu pun yang kau boleh menari dengan lembut? Kau kan selalu ganas. Tak pe, keep up the good work dan tingkatkan usaha anda". Haha. It's Mirul who said that. The funniest girl in class. Again, I'm proud of myself. You must be annoyed. Hehh!
Here's some picture of me in zapin costume.

I wore eyeliner and some blusher. But, it seems like I'm not wearing any make-up.

Me, Kak Najla, Sam and Kak Kila.

Thanks for reading, peeps.

Especially that particular YOU :)

XOXO

Do you know?

Being a girl is difficult? Did you know that girls like to think stuffs that are not actually important to herself? Meaning that, girls like to make her life miserable and complicated? That will end up hurting herself. I don't know about other girls out there. I don't really give a shit. My mom told me this, men are born to have strong physicalities, while women are born to have a great heart as in a strong heart. I'm not talking about pumping your blood to all part of the bodies. Its about how women are strong enough to face problems. I don't know, if you ever realize about it?

Whether you care or not, actually I'm talking about myself now. I'm not saying that I'm actually a guy who acted as a girl and I found it difficult. But, I do have a problem in facing my own feelings. I helped my friends a lot in facing their problems, and guess what? It really worked. But, me? I'm confused. I've seen my guy friends, they're like stick to their decision and maintaining it. In Malay, they called, "tetap pendirian". I don't know what's that in English. Lame me. And why am I so stubborn to really glued to my own decision.

For example, I want to be as a heartless girl, who doesn't even care if she's single, mentally abused, dressed up preppy-ly, being rejected, and hell yeah, many more. But, instead, I'm pretending to be like one. No, no not pretending. I'm trying damn hard and I don't know if its really work.
Hey, I do love being single, that's an exception. But, after I've been mentally abused, I cried a lot. After I dressed up preppy-ly, I'm afraid of people talking behind my back. I used being rejected, and I think I really don't care about it, but I actually embarrassed like heck.
That's why I told you, being a girl is difficult. You tend to think things that not important and lead you to miserable-ness. Pff, what in the world are not difficult anyway?

P/S: you'll find many grammar error, because i still sucks in grammar. you'll find my sentences are like primary one student, because my vocabulary still yucks. and maybe you don't understand the message in this hell long essay or post, because i'm writing in nani's language. nani hates reading. so, the sentences are all direct translation from malay. lame.

XOXO