I'm not free this weekend.

To Adam,

I can't join you to UKM. Well, I am desperately-want-to-go-so-badly. Remember the activity that I told you about, the social services to orphanage house. So, I'll go there. Andd, I got progress test on the next Tuesday. Thus I have to cover and study and prepare and........ x_x 

To Huda, 

I hope you'll have fun at your dinner. And where the dress that you'd bought and shawl that you borrowed from me. Snap lots of pictures and send me some.

To Abu,

I don't know whether you read this or not, but, I want to meet you too! Miss you, mann! But, I can't come to UKM. I'm sorry. I got things to do. 

To Anis Najihah,

I know you won't read this, but, I hope we can study and work our ass off for this becoming progress test.

I'm mad,

XOXO

Me went swimming!

My friends and I, went swimming just now. At UiTM's swimming complex. I studied here for almost 2 years, 1 for foundation and 1 for degree, and this was my first time came here. Well, it's swimming pool, not water fun fair. Thus, there was just a big cuboid that filled with water.

Guess what, it's quite fun. Playing around, float here and there, swallowing water, choking water, and recalling back my memory of learning how to swim for the last 11 years. I had been in swimming class in Standard 3. But, I didn't finished the class. I left it half way, due to some circumstances. Anyway, it took me one hour to completely memorize everything.

Well, basically I am happy. Heheh. I was away from studying for two hours. At least, i'm releasing my depression a bit. So, swimming really did help in releasing your stress.

XOXO

I think I want to kill myself.

Today's class are super pack. All class were anatomy except for one class, which was biochemistry. We learnt about musculoskeletal system. Just now, we had lectures on pterygopalatine fossa, oral cavity, nasal cavity, palate, muscles of  facial expression, scalp, paranasal sinuses and matabolism of bone mineral and vitamin D. It's interesting, except for pterygopalatine fossa. Freaking susah. I feel like I want to end my world now! I'm depressed a lot. Tonight, we got Kemahiran Insaniah thingy, which is so not interesting to come, but I have to, and now I am so blank. I can't even think like a normal people. I want to curse everything that happen in front of me, I am so sick, headache, I feel like I want to puke. I hate this feeling! God, helpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp meeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
XOXO

Stomach noise.

Have you ever think of the reasons, why did stomach growls when you're hungry? I did thought of the reasons, but I'm not sure whether it's true or not. And I also did ask my best friend, but he didn't response. I was so lazy to Google about this. Until, today, I woke up late this morning and obviously I was late to class. So, I don't have time to breakfast or even grab a sachet of biscuit. Oh, I even forgot to grab my watch and my purse! Pfffsh. When I reached the class, I sneaked into the class from the back door, and I sat next to Razil, who seated at the very last row. While I was busy catching up with the some part of the slides that I had missed, suddenly my stomach growls hard and loud. Darn the stomach! Then I was freaking embarrassed and I asked him, "Alamak, dengar tak?". He nodded while focusing on the lecture. And I continued with the shame that stroke me. After a while, then, I continued focus to the lecture back.
And it happened again for the whole one hour and the next hour too. I am so embarrassed with my stomach's behavior just now. Sigh.
Hahh! Here am I, googling why the stomach growls and rumbles when we're hungry. Briefly, it's because due to a normal digestion system. Which can also occur after eating or having meals. There are some hormone released to our stomach when we haven't eat for a while.

"Hunger feeling→ hormone-like substance released & brain send message to stomach and intestine→ muscle contraction→ released acids and digestive fluids→ rumblings and growlings occur."

I told you that I thought of something. Well, my answer is, digestion still happens. Maybe they digest the yesterday's food? I'm not sure But, I didn't think of the hormone thing.

P/S: Correct me if I'm wrong.
Razil, if you read this I am so sorry. And, I am so maluuu!
XOXO

OHH MY GOSH!

I don't think I belong here. Again. We've just started the new module. Musculoskeletal module. It's only been for two days, and I am so freaking dizzy right now. Hell, it's interesting, but the people who're around me are so damn brilliant, clever and fast learner. Thus, I'm a lot of depressed.
Today, in my practical lab class, we're studying about the muscle of the arm, forearm and shoulder. Oh, don't forget the nerve supply and the blood supply too. We're looking at the corpse or cadaver or whatever junk, and trying to identify the muscles and the nerves. The lecturer was so diligent teaching and explaining to us. But, unfortunately, it works for them and not for me. I am so slow to pick up new things to register into my memory. Seriously, it was depressing. Like seriously, seriously. Sigh.
I think, my friends are easily annoyed at me now, because I kept asking the things that are actually clear, but I just need to repeat and confirm it over and over again, in order to register it into my brain. At today's class, it took me 20 minutes (which my friend only took 8 minutes) to memorize and point to the right part of this,

"Median nerve, supply to the biceps, then to the forearm and then to the thenar muscle through the carpal tunnel. The deformity of the median nerve is the ape hand. The ulnar nerve, supply to one and the half of the hand to hypothenar muscle. And the deformity of the ulnar nerve is the claw hand. The radial nerve, supply to the triceps and then to the extensor muscle of the hand. The deformity of the radial nerve is wrist down."

Okay, I am purposely write this down because I'm recalling it back. Maybe it's sounds very damn easy for you, but not for me. I'm not that genius.
After I'm having my difficulties of the day, me and my two friends planned a very very random plan. After we finished our class, we went to the nearest cinema, and watched Burlesque. With our baju kurung on!

Hoyeah, Christina Aguilera was so cute with those bangs that she had.

Look at the bangs an the curls!

The movie was musical. The songs are all quite good. Burlesque is a name of a strip club or night club, I'm not sure. The girls are all hot and sexayhh.

This is one of the example of their sexi-ness.

Hey! There was a special appearance of Dianna Agron. Appeared as Jack's fiancee, Natalie. Whoa! I'm so surprised. She's cute. Oh, Jack is super charming! And, after googling, I found out Jack is Cam Gigandet. Which who played the role James in Twilight. Hmm, no wonder he looked so familiar. Haha.

He worked as a bartender in a strip club. With the hat and eyeliner and tattoo. Phew!

XOXO

Break’s over.

This is a long post. As I told you earlier, I was away because I’m having my 1-week mid semester break. Before I’m going home from campus, me and my best friend are having fun together at Sunway Pyramid. We rent a car from a friend, and drive there. It was crazy, I almost hit a car. Well, Selangor and KL drivers are crazy and impatient. It was quite scary. We watched The Green Hornet. Hell yeah, the movie are so awesome. It’s cool when you can create your own car according to whatever shit you want. Abu, i'm soo sorry for watching it first without you and Adam. Haha. Nevermind, I can watch it twice. The movie was awesome anyway. Hehe. Me and Huda also played the-killing-zombie-game arcade there. It’s fun because it was our first time playing this game together. 

Okay, when I reached home, I got to know that my dad had met a motorcycle accident. Why didn’t I get this news earlier? It’s because my mom said it wasn’t serious. My dad got a hand-phone-size-hole lesion on his leg. I was so worried-scary to watch he cleaned the lesion using the swab and some chemical. He is now terinjut-injut while walking. I am damn sad to see his difficulties :'(

What can I say about this holiday? It’s quite boring because my other siblings are going to school and work. And I become their driver. I just sit at home and watched TV and eat, eat, eat, and yes, eat. I did bring some note to so-called study during the holiday. And guessed what, I am so damn lazy to revise the lectures. Guessed I’m not 'pelajar cemerlang' enough to study and do some revision during the holiday.

I'm also did not learn how to cook like my other female friends. I am a Noob in cooking. Why? It’s because I don’t like to cook. I don’t hate it, I just don’t prefer. But, that doesn’t mean that I’m awkward in kitchen. For your information, I’m a big sis to my three sisters and a little brother.  Thus, I always have to make some food for them especially when my memmo's not around.

On last Thursday, I met a friend, Fahil. We’re having our midnight supper together. Why midnight? It’s so improper for a girl to go out in the middle of the night. Err, I don’t know, it’s a random plan anyway.

I watched TV all day during the holiday. I watched Glee 2. The duet episode, for like three-four times in a week. I watched iCarly, Fun Asia, Chowder, One Night: A Malaysian Wedding, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, The Oprah Winfrey Show, Nanny 911, Ugly Betty 6, How I Met Your Mother 5, Grey’s Anatomy 6, Raja Lawak 5, 53r Grammy Award, Lagenda Budak Setan, Hannah Montana Forever, Samseng Jalanan, Buletin Utama, My Best Friend’s Wedding, Spider-man and Hindustani’s movies for sure and so much more to list it down.


I also read something. The Malay novel that my sis borrowed from her school library. It's nice, but I only managed to read 3 chapters. Well, that was actually a success. Haha.

Every chapter has a different love story according to syara'. Which is cool.

This is my little brother.

Cheese tarts with strawberry and blueberry fillings made by my memmo.

In the bus, on the way to Shah Alam. Guess what, I slept in the bus,  when I woke up, I found myself at Shah Alam already and suddenly became pissed off.

Next modules after Oral Biology II are Musculoskeletal module and Cardiovascular module. This is Basic Medical Science, where the part that I sucks the most. God, this time I’ll try my best to study hard in more strategize way to success. Please, Allah. I want to show a shallow, typical, loser and particular guy out there, that I am not stupid as he thought. Besides, I’ll beat him one day.

Wish me luck, peeps.

XOXO

I say "NO" to love.

Of course despite the love towards God, families, friends and animals. I am talking about the love of a girl to a boy, a lady to a guy and a woman to a man.
I may be exaggerated about this shit, but I'm not kidding about it. Why? Because of I am tired of love. It's sick and playing with feelings. Well, some guy may be serious in their relationship. But, I am freaking confident that actually they're not as serious as you. Hah, sorry guys.
Do you know, something that are related to feelings, if it's a good thing, it will be as if you're in wonderland, it was so beautiful, you covered with so much happiness. But if it's a bad thing, it will be as if you're in hell, it was so sucks, you hurt like hell with so much hollow-ness and sadness.
And if they're not the one, you'll be regretted so much you can't even forgave yourself. Well, I do and I don't care about you.
To me, love is blind. Seriously blind. If you're in love, you can't see they're flaw. Either physically or mentally. Whatever they did, it will always right and cute? I guessed. You'll tend to say something that are good about them to yourself. Just to make yourself better. Even the obvious bad one. And you don't care if you sacrifice anything just to be happy with them. For example, you don't mind if you talked over the phone like for 2-3 hours just to hear they're voice while you actually got some test to study for tomorrow. You also don't mine to spend lots of money for your prepaid or postpaid bill as long as you're happy. Well, it's too many. You can list out yourself if you're understand.

I'm so sorry if you are actually in love or in a relationship now. But I am really no into love right now. I don;t know it'll last until when. And my bestfriend are so worried if I'll be so bitter about this. But, I want to be bitter. I'm sorry.
XOXO

People have different thoughts about us.

Maybe we should stop contacting with each other. People started to talk about us, which I don't prefer. Oh, I actually hate it. And, people don't understand that we are really close, not so close actually, but they think that I'm trying to flirt around or you're trying to flirt around? Hey, whatever! We're just friends, you're so fun, and I respected you like my own big bro.
Thus, the conclusions are, different people have different thoughts and opinions, which I don't care and I don't like whether it's bad or good. So, I want to shut these people's mouth, and the best way is for us to stop contact with each. I guessed? 

Sigh, This is so ridiculous.
XOXO

First day of exam.

As you informed before, 7th and 8th February are my exam day. Well, today are not going well.
Firstly, my paper start at 8.30 am. Which I knew at first, until there's someone told me that the exam will be at 9.00 am. So, as I was still reading my notes at 7.50 am and I was not even prepared, as in my baju kurung wasn't iron yet, my stationaries weren't prepare yet and I haven't take a shower yet.
Suddenly, I saw my roomate already wearing her shawl. And I asked her, "Pukul berapa paper hari ni? Pukul 9.00 am, right?". And she answered with a smile, "Pukul 8.30 am lah". I was like, 'Whuut??'. You still can smiling kan? Why did she not remind me? As in, we're roomate right? We're both will sit an exam this morning. And you're like wearing a shawl and I'm still lying in the bed, without showering yet and with the notes on my hand? I was pissing off in the morning that I'll be taking my Oral Biology paper. Like heck, man!!

"Babe, I hope you read this. Because I don't have the gut to talk about this shit again with you. I don't like this feeling. Cursing you at the back. Yes, you're a nice girl, but when it come to things like this, you'll be like suddenly selfish. Like, seriously selfish? I am deadly, don't know whether I was wrong to curse you at the back or you were wrong for not reminding me to get ready for the exam or what? One more, sorry for slammed the door shut right in front of your face this morning."

This is so stress. But, luckily I can answer confidently to all the questions. *Yayyy, I'm grinning back!* Hey, take note, confident doesn't mean it's all true. It's just for your own satisfaction. I'm grateful to God.
Okay, today isn't going so well because, while wrapping my lunch, my favourite side-dish finished already. Thus, I have to buy whatever left there. So, I bought 'lemak cili padi'. The translation are, >click here<. Funnehh! Hahh, while eating, I was crying, and hingusan meleleh-leleh. I was so damn hungry, and my lunch are like super duper freaking spicy. And I already prepared mentally if tonight, I'll be having a diarrhoea.

Tomorrow will be my last day of mid-sem exam and wish me luck, peeps.
XOXO

I hate stupid people.

Because of you stupid people, I think that I had made the wrong choice of choosing dental surgery as my future career.

Because of you stupid people, you let me down while I am trying so hard to climb the steepest mountain ever.

Because of you stupid people, I know which true friends are.

Because of you stupid people, I just realize that I am accidentally being too nice to all people even you, stupid people.

Because of you stupid people, I cursed, cursed, and cursed.

And also because of you stupid people, I increasingly understand how hard are life in reality.

Toodles, peeps.
XOXO

What the fuck!

Today, this afternoon, me and my friends went to KFC to buy something for dinner. Suddenly,
I remembered *you.
I was having a flashback.
I remembered our memories.
I was sad and almost cry.
I regretted.
I cursed.
That's it. No more falling in fucking love with something named 'guy'. I guessed, until forever? Seriously, I don't mind.

*referred to someone called 'no-more-in-nani's life'
XOXO

Pressure February!

Yes, I didn't update my blog a few days ago. For your information, my holidays ain't the same with other students. My Chinese New Year holiday is my study week. Damn, man. What study week? Preparation for mid-semester examination. I know, some of you don't have this mid-sem exam. But, my course do. And typically, I want to study of course. Duh? I don't want to repeat the same hell mistakes that I'd done. Last minutes study. I don't want to 'achieve' fail again. Pfff.

When will my mid-semester break be?

It's on 9th February until 20th February. Yes, my holiday isn't the same with other students. Obviously, I don't have hangout-with-friends activity during this becoming holiday. Well, at least I will have some break from studies and same routine, wouldn't I?

Oh, my!

Pimples are everywhere. PMS, obviously. Do you know one of PMS is difficulty in concentration and memorizing? Heck yeah, that's the problem I am facing right now :(

Peeps, take note!

As we all know February got only 28 days. And, for February, maybe there's only 3 posts from me? Because, my home, got no internet connection. Thus, clearly I will not updating my freaking lame blog.

And lastly,

This becoming 7th and 8th February is my exam day. I hope I can do my very damn best. I really really hope I can do my best. Eh, did I repeat that twice? Oh, I AM DESPERATELY WANNA DO MY BEST. Got that? Please pray for me, dear friends? Amin.

P/S: My grammar is so bad. Thus, I'm sorry for the inconvenience. Thank you.

XOXO