Nafs.

Actually it's not what i want (nafs). I'm a Muslim, I'll follow what Allah told me to, Allah told me to respect, obey and give mercy to our parents. If you achieve redha from your parents, then you'll get redha from Allah too. It's stated in the Quran. Quran is a book/guidance/words of Allah to us, through The Prophet. In the Quran also, stated a lot of times to not follow our nafs.

In my case, i want to get posted away from home. To Perlis or to Sabah. But my parents want me to work near home. At Johor, Melaka or Negeri Sembilan. I remember vividly what was my reaction to their demand. I was mad to be honest, because they were the kind of parents who don't mind and they encourage their children to explore and have an adventure in life. When they demand like that, i was mad. I told my friend about it, and they said, it's you who'll work, not them. I took his advice then.

But somehow deeeeep down in my heart, i know it's wrong, but i don't get it clearly why is it wrong. So i still hold on to his advice. I raised my voice to my parents a lot after i held to his advice.

Then, i thought wtf was i doing? Why am i so derhaka? Am i derhaka or am i just want what i want? I was clueless. Then i opened a few YouTube videos (ustaz nouman ali khan and hadith open mic) on parents, in Islam. He said, Allah told us to pay attention to our parents. In solat, even if you're not khusyuk enough, inshaallah your solat will be accepted. But with your parents, you can't even say "ah" to them. Why do you think Allah forbids us to say so?

Guys, listen to your parent's demands, respect them, give mercy to them as long as it doesn't go against syara'. Do not make a decision that is driven by emotions, nafs. Because when you listen to your parents, there's always hikmah behind it. If you want something that is against your parent's will, sit and discuss nicely. Pray to Allah to soften their heart, to show you and them what decision is the best for you.

Remember that syurga di bawah tapak kaki ibu.  There must be reason why syurga di bawah tapak kaki ibu.