I think I am suffered from a slight mental problem. Which arose from an abrupt low confidence that I 'gained' during the last two years. It was so drastic, it made me shocked. A hell lot of shockness. I am not like this during my Foundation on 2008/2009. I was so fine with myself. Now everything is a mess. My mind works so hard indirectly, it made my neck become a bit of stiffness. My face frowns too much. I lost my excitedness towards bright colours. I am more focused on normal, common, dull colours.
By the way, side track sekejap, I got a bunch of friends who MADE FUN of me during the past two years because I do colour-blocking. You can never imagine how I was struggling to become positive while at the same time, that drastic-low-confidence is attacking. Its hard, believe me. And now I SEE that they are actively trying to do colour-blocking as well. Fuck, how am I supposed to react with that?
Anyway the main point is, I don't ask for this to happen. To me. I know this is a challenge Allah sent me to be strong, and to find the inner side of me. Allah won't send challenges that His servants can't cope. Bear that.
Okay, let's think the bright side of all this. There's hikmah behind all this. Probably after this I'll become more confident than all people in the world and achieve The Most Confident Woman award. Yeah, who knows what will happened in future, right.
World is just getting weirder, and thus people need to keep on being in the right path and work hard to maintain in it.